I am a ārelationship girl.’ But I’m also single.
I love to love, and I am a romantic at heart. For as long as I can remember, I’ve had crushes in school and would daydream about going to prom one day with a cute boy. My parents used to tease me about the boys in school that I liked, and I always knew I’d love dating.
So in my second semester freshman year, when my boyfriend of three years and I split, my world was rocked. At the time, I wanted to be single for a couple of months to process the relationship and adjust to the change, but I believed that shortly after that period, Iād find someone new and that Iād go right back to my familiar lover-girl persona.
What I did not expect was that Iād be single for two years and counting. Freshman-year me would have never believed this to be the case, but I have been so lucky to spend some much-needed time with myself, for myself.Ā
If youāre anything like me, or are looking for confirmation that being single can be so so cool, here are, from my eyes, why being single in college has been one of the biggest blessings in my life.
Developing Friendships. I immediately learned how desperately I needed my friends and how much more quality time I had to spend with them. They know everything about me, and we have seen each other undergo all of the crazy changes that take place over these formative years… my friendships have grown into relationships I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Everyone says it, but the network of women that we create in college goes with us foreverā I am glad that Iāve had the time to foster those strong relationships.Ā
Self-Discovery. While you can continue to discover yourself in a relationship, the discovery I went through was so much easier done alone. I am a lot more in tune with who I am, how I like to spend my time, and what my boundaries are. If I had jumped into another relationship, I would have never learned what makes me, well, me!
Travel. This past summer, I went to Grenoble, France, for six weeks for a study abroad program. While this is not true for everyone, two years ago, it would have been nearly impossible for me to have left my boyfriend for that long. This was the most meaningful and exciting experience of my life, and I loved it so much that I will be returning to France this upcoming fall semester. I cannot wait!
Casual Connections. I have also had the time to engage in more casual connections. I have been on many dates, have had embarrassing make-outs at frats, and have navigated the confusing-ness of college dating life. I have so many funny stories! And to be honest? Iāve learned a whole lot about what I donāt want in a partner.Ā
Family bonds. When my ex and I broke up, I lost my most trusted confidant. But over time, I began to rely so much more on my family connections than I ever had. I now call my mom and my sister to vent to them about the mundane things happening in my life or the petty struggles Iām going through. Being single sometimes opens our eyes to the support systems we have all around us, even if we weren’t tapping into them.
Independence. Finally, but most importantly in my book, I have learned and am continuing to learn about what independence looks like. While dating can be fun and I still am enamored with all things love, I find that self-love is an important first step. Being single, I can focus even more on my studies and my goals, and fully deal with all of my own emotional needs. And even if that makes me dateless at my date parties, I get to feel mysterious and dance my heart out with my friends whom I love more than anything.Ā
And so, itās perfectly okayāand good!āif you are single in college. Relationships will come in their own time, and there is so much love all around to experience as you continue to navigate your own college journey!
With love,Ā
Elizabeth <3