An Open Letter to the Recruiting Process

Dear Recruiting Process,

‘Tis the Season! So happy you are back in full-swing and ready to take away every ounce of dignity, self-confidence, and sanity from all the girls on campus! And by happy, I mean... Not. happy.

No, recruiting process, you are not a welcome guest. I cannot tell you how much of my precious time I have spent ferociously checking job openings, sending emails to random people, and trying to figure out how I can have 5+ years of experience when I haven’t even graduated yet. 

I buy pant suits that cost my first born child and wear pointy kitten heels that I can’t walk in just so I can stand in a line of a million people to hand you my resume.

And no, I have not created an app or found the answer to world peace, but I am smart and would be of great value if you can look at me as more than a piece of paper with my “special skills.” When did you become so competitive and so exhausting? I am over sending 300- character notes on LinkedIn, going to horrifying and overwhelming networking events, thinking about superdays, and pretending like I have my life together.

Because I definitely do not. 

Soon you will leave and I won’t have to keep ripping out strands of my hair every time I hear “so what are your plans for after college?” But, please, do me a favor and take it down a couple notches. This is getting insane.

Hopefully you will soon learn how to not slowly drain the life out of every college student. And until that day, you are still an unwelcome guest.

All the best,

Ari