Some people view tallness as an instant one-way-ticket into amusement park rides, an automatic “in” to looking a little older, a convenient feature when encountering high shelves or weaving through packed concert crowds. However, when you’re a 14-year-old teen girl who practically towers over all her peers, these superficial benefits are often overshadowed by waves of self-doubt and crippling insecurity.
As your friends happily sift through one another’s closets, you sit and watch with a forced smile knowing their pants would barely reach the tip of your calves. You look at pictures of your friend group, and while all their heads remain moderately level you’re practically shooting up to the sky as if on silts, looking like their babysitter. You’re only encouraged to enroll in sports like basketball and volleyball because that’s where you’ll have your greatest chances of athletic success. Those family members you haven’t seen in a while never fail to greet you with a “Wow, you’ve got some inches!” You feel like a massive looming giant, an outsider who just doesn’t match.
You watch your high school’s aerodynamic cheer squad twisting around in the air, and you think to yourself “That could never be me.” You’re a little more dominant-looking against your will, and that sometimes intimidates insecure people who aren’t afraid to make their disdain known. You are physically at a distance from your peers which often translates to mental distance, often leaving you feeling like the sidekick, the odd man out, and the afterthought.
As a result, you find yourself crouching down in pictures to account for drastic height gaps. Scared to wear heels because you’ll make the prom photos look disproportionate. Scouring the ends of the earth to find a dress that fits the width of your body while also covering what you need it to. Dealing with stricter expectations from your peers due to your accelerated physical maturity. Mimicking how your friends present and express themselves so you look like you belong in some miniscule way. It’s an endless struggle to fit in, when that’s the very last thing you’re capable of.
Conformity is heavily valued throughout adolescence. As a girl who was often the tallest of her friends as a teen, I can say that learning to love my height was hard. I didn’t match. I appeared physically ahead of my time, yet I felt behind. I looked around at the other girls in my bunk at camp, and wanted so desperately to just look like them. Tiny, adorable, petite. Maybe then, I’d feel like I belonged.
However, as you grow up, you find the beauty in standing out. You discover the boost of confidence that comes with standing tall and being proud of who you are. You learn that your natural ability to see above crowds is actually quite useful when needed. You realize that you don’t need to be a carbon copy of everyone else to feel worthy; your height makes you unique and that uniqueness is a superpower if that’s how you chose to view it.
You come to see that squatting all the way down in group photos is useless, because that’s not authentic to who you really are. Besides, your height gives the photo more dimension; your presence is an enhancement. Flaunting those high heels that make you at least a head taller than everyone else becomes empowering. You learn how to carry yourself with conviction and you start appreciating the long legs you used to hate. Now instead of only seeing everyone else within a crowd, you can see yourself a little better, too.
The great thing about having a unique trait is that you’re able to bond with others who can relate. When I came to college, not only did I find my fellow tall girl best friend but also unlocked a glorious shared closet. It’s pretty cool, finding a little community and learning to love what makes you unique, together. Perhaps the qualities that initially set us apart are the most valuable.
Sure, maybe you won’t be exchanging clothes with the majority of girls your age, you probably won’t be that girl flipping around in midair, and you’ll receive remarks on your height your entire life. But instead of feeling out of place, you’ll hold your head up high and know your value. You are so much more than your 14-year-old self perception. You are more than teenage conformity and everything you used to beat yourself up about. You are exactly who and where you need to be.
And the second you realize that, you’ll be unstoppable.