Over the past six months, I have gone through a very transformative period in my life. After ending a long-term relationship and cutting contact with the person, I felt empty, lost, guilty, and unsure of who I was. While the relationship and our contact did need to end for us both to grow and move on with our lives, I found the feeling of loneliness unbearable at first. My identity had been so closely tied to someone else that the idea of being completely alone was terrifying. But what started as heartbreak turned into an incredible journey of self-discovery, independence, and learning to find joy by myself.
At first, the silence of no contact was deafening. I filled my days with distractions, scrolling through social media, binging TV shows, and filling my schedule so I was never alone with my thoughts. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t keep running from my feelings. I needed to work through the constant breakdowns, zero appetite, sleepless nights, and overthinking. I had to face these symptoms of discomfort and learn how to find happiness within myself rather than through another person.Â
To combat this, I made a conscious decision to say “yes” more: “yes” to trying new things, “yes” to opportunities that scared me, and “yes” to experiences that pushed me out of my comfort zone. I started going to new events, pursued hobbies I had neglected in the past, and tried my best to talk/get to know more people. Little by little, with lots of patience, I realized that my life could be fulfilling even without a relationship. I’ve learned to find joy in making decisions entirely for myself, without needing to consider someone else’s opinions or preferences.Â
One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned and one that I still have to remind myself of is that being single doesn’t mean being incomplete. Society and social media often equate happiness with romantic relationships, but I’ve found that true happiness comes from within. Of course I still have difficult moments, early mornings and late nights when the loneliness creeps in. During these moments I often second-guess whether I’m happy or not. But with each challenge, I grow stronger. I have learned that solitude is not something to be feared but something to embrace and promotes a time of growth, reflection, and self-care.Â
I can truly say that after these months of learning how to be alone and diving completely into myself, I’ve never been more happy. I wake up every morning excited for what the day ahead will bring, it sounds stupid but it wasn’t a feeling I had often experienced before. People can say whatever they want about the cliche “working on myself”, but pouring into myself these past 6 months has changed who I am. I enjoy the woman I am, how I treat others, the things I’m a part of, my newfound style (thank you, Pinterest and TikTok), and find my mind a beautiful place to be.Â
To anyone struggling with being single, I want you to know that your worth is not defined by your relationship status. Being alone doesn’t mean you are “unlovable” or “incomplete”, it means you have the opportunity to build a relationship with yourself, the most important one you’ll ever have. There is so much beauty in being single, in having the freedom to explore who you are and what truly makes you happy.
Now, I no longer see being alone as something to escape. Instead, I welcome it as a chance to recharge, rediscover myself, and appreciate the person I am becoming.