When you buy tickets for an artist before their new album has even been released, it’s always a gamble. Lorde has never disappointed me, though, so I knew taking the risk would be worth it before hearing her fourth album, Virgin. Two months later, I stood in line for the pit, lyrics to every new song memorized, and just as obsessed with Lorde as I was in middle school after the release of Melodrama.
Growing up with an artist makes it even more special when you’re finally able to see them. I stood next to my best friend since fourth grade as the opening notes to “Hammer” played, heart beating out of my chest. This was the girl I’d bonded over “Royals” and “Buzzcut Season” with, back when we didn’t fully understand the lyrics. Music brought us together, and she’s still the first person I think to text when a tour presale is coming up. I was inches away from the stage, ready to see the whites of her eyes. It’s not something that feels real, and I wish there was a word to describe the emotion of finally seeing someone you’ve only seen through a screen or heard through headphones for years.
I started listening to Lorde in middle school, when I was awkward, insecure, and barely had any self-confidence. I was drawn to her lyrics and vibe from the first listen and explored Pure Heroine, her first release, after I was introduced to “Royals” on the radio. Virgin encapsulates the teenage angst and confusion I felt back then, and if I could have heard this album eight years ago, I know it would have made growing up feel more familiar. The main themes include feeling out of place within your own body, exploration of sexuality, and falling short of your family’s expectations of you. Out of all her albums, this one reminds me most of Pure Heroine, making it feel like a full-circle moment. I don’t love looking back on my early teenage years, but sometimes seeing how far I’ve come is satisfying. Virgin has allowed me to do that.
Out of all the songs, “Favourite Daughter” struck the strongest chord with me. Ever since being deemed a “gifted” kid in elementary school, my parents’ expectations for me have been extremely high. Scoring well on exams was the norm for me, and it was rarely seen as an accomplishment. It was all about getting into a “good college,” focusing on school, and maintaining physical health by playing sports and working out regularly. As Lorde said, I was truly “breaking my back just to be your favourite daughter.” I’m so lucky to have such supportive parents who have pushed me into becoming the person I am today, but it didn’t come without stress and anxiety, and she does such a great job of expressing this.
The album’s range is also impressive. Songs like “Hammer” and “What Was That” are perfect summer dance songs. I annoyed my friends for months after the release by singing both of these, and it got them hooked, too. One second, you’re having a crisis listening to “David,” and the next you’re singing at the top of your lungs to “Broken Glass,” which is also super heavy, but disguised with a catchy beat. She’s the master of combining dark emotions and making them into a hit.
I’m sitting on my bed looking at the confetti I saved from the tour, and I still can’t believe I had the opportunity to be so close to my favorite artist. I scooped up a handful after the lights came on after “Ribs,” the most fun I’ve ever had at a concert. Everyone was screaming the lyrics, and the whole crowd knew it by heart. I would do anything to go back, but seeing her was a moment in time I’ll cherish forever—every version of me.