Thousands of people make an impact on your life in one way or another. Some come and go, some stick around, and others make only a brief appearance. Every person that you meet will play some sort of role, though — maybe it’s to stay by your side for the long haul, or maybe it’s just to help you learn you a lesson. At first, it can be difficult to tell who is worth keeping close. Whenever there’s uncertainty about one of your relationships, start by asking yourself if they’re headed in the same direction as you.
Is their elevator going up?
This simple question contains more than meets the eye. Yes, the direction of their life outside of school and beyond is a factor, but it can be applied to an array of other aspects of your relationship as well. For the relationship to be healthy and mutually beneficial, you both have to be on the same page. If their elevator is going up, hop on with them and it’ll bring you where you both want to go. Surround yourself with people you admire. That way, you’ll bring yourself up by aspiring to keep up with them. Steer clear of those who are heading in different directions: people who may not support you, see the best in you, or make enough time to maintain the relationship. If you get on one of those elevators, you’ll head in the wrong direction.
How do they make me feel?
Just a mere first impression can answer this question. The way someone makes you feel is the most important factor in any type of relationship. If somebody makes you feel empowered, supported, loved, and appreciated, chances are they’re here to stay. When this question really becomes important is when someone makes you feel all sorts of emotions. You should never settle for anyone that gives you any less than you deserve.
How do they treat others?
To gauge whether or not someone’s elevator is headed in the same direction as you, don’t only take into consideration how you are treated by them. Take a step back and look at how others feel when they are around. How do they treat their friends, family members, and strangers? By considering this, you can evaluate what role this person should play in the grand scheme of your life, because their other relationships can and will affect yours. The way they treat others is one of the most telling things about them. It’s important to have a good relationship, but even more important to have a relationship with a good person.
Are their characteristics complementary to yours?
You are a product of your environment. The people you surround yourself with shape you, your decisions, and your other relationships. Your goal is to create a positive, supportive environment. In order to find the right people to fill these roles, first you must self-evaluate. What do you love about yourself that you need reciprocated in a relationship? What characteristics do you lack that you admire in others? Find companions with morals parallel to your own. Look for similarities between you and others, but diversify your inner circle with different personalities, traits, backgrounds, and perspectives that bring out the best in you. Creating a support system is key to discovering yourself. Surround yourself with positivity, love, support and loyalty. Life is too short to settle for anything less.