If you were to ask most men and boys, “What is the worst thing someone could call you?” Many would probably say a “girl”. You see this sort of reaction all the time in real life and even on-screen or in songs. For men, being called a woman means being called weak. It is a direct challenge to their masculinity and they hate it. They are men– rough, tough, and can handle anything. At least, that’s what society tells them.
Society has given men extremely strict guidelines on how to “be a man.” Men are under constant pressure to try and fit those guidelines, so they feel they are living up to the standard set for them. This is why “a girl” is one of the worst things men feel they can be called. It means they haven’t done a good job in following the guidelines, and their masculinity–something they worked so hard to build and pull off–has been ripped apart. Now they are weak, below a man. Now, they are a woman.
Think back to a conversation you may have heard between a group of men. In the middle of the conversation, maybe they casually say “Man up! Stop being a wuss,” or “You’re such a pussy.” Why do they choose these words as insults? They make it seem like showing even a miniscule sign of being feminine is the worst thing in the world. But is that really how they feel about women? Ask and most men will say no. The reason they call each other these names is not because they do not like women, it is because they associate those words with being weak. Although they might not directly associate weakness with women, the implications are clear. Society believes that women are weaker than men.
The problem here unfortunately is that most guys are completely unaware that what they are saying is negative towards women, since society has normalized and made this behavior acceptable. Yes, that’s right, the guys aren’t to blame. Society is.
But this issue runs much deeper. Its core lies within men. Men have grown up in a world where the definition of what it means to be a man comes with strict guidelines. Break out of those guidelines, and suddenly you’re not a “true” man in the eyes of society. So how can we even begin to change the negativity associated with being a woman? We have to change what it means to be a man. If we can change those standards, then will we be able to change the language.