This past winter was very interesting in terms of my body image. Since I have been lifting weights and attending the gym more in the fall semester, my body quickly responded in the span of four months. While it was my goal to gain some pounds through lifting, I was not ready for the feelings that would come after that and I wish I was more prepared.
For my entire life, I have always been told to gain more weight. The media and our society have fed to me that my body type was not accepted. Although I do gain privilege from being skinny, I have received negative comments from the media and others about being “too” skinny.
I decided to change this and started to lift weights frequently during my fall semester. While it is extremely important for us to move our bodies, it was clear that my reason for going to the gym in the first place was problematic.
Over winter break, I started to see changes within my body, especially my thighs. My first reaction to seeing the difference between how I looked before and after was not the best. A part of me felt ashamed. Although I was active in the gym and got the results I had wanted, I thought it was too much. Although I wanted to gain weight from the gym, once I did I was left unhappy and unsatisfied. After discussing this with my friends and family I came to these realizations.
I am beautiful the way I am.
My purposes for going to the gym in the first place were skewed. Instead of going to the gym to change what I looked like, my purpose should have been on how I feel after the gym. And how do I feel after going to the gym? For the first couple of hours, like shit, but after I take a shower and settle in I feel great.
My body does amazing things for me.
My body has the ability to bring me places, dance, jump, and so much more. Instead of focusing so much on how my body looks, I should more so focus on what it can do.
It is completely normal for my body to change.
We need to let our bodies go through the motions, naturally. It is okay for my body to change and my weight to fluctuate. Our bodies are ever-changing. If I accept growth and change within myself, the same should be done for my own body.
My self-worth does not equate to my image.
My self-worth is not tied to a number on a scale. My self-worth is tied to how I treat and respect others.
Be your own best friend.
Whenever my friends come to me about body image issues. The first thing I say to them is that they are beautiful the way they are. Treat yourself how you treat your own good friends. Be a best friend to yourself!
I have learned so much throughout this winter break about my body image. What helped me the most was being surrounded by those who loved and supported me. While these tips do not solve all of the issues surrounding body image, I hope that they are useful to you. If there is anything to take away from this article, it is to know that you are truly beautiful inside and out.
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