Friend-zoning has such an incredible stigma attached to it. We often hear about “the Friendzone” as a dreaded place for men to be lumped into. It’s considered a “dumping group” for perfectly nice guys deemed unfit dating material by girls who clearly don’t know what they’re looking for.
But to say this is also unfair and unreasonable. So why do we friendzone? And when do we friendzone? For such a tricky subject, friendzoning happens all the time. Sometimes random situations come up in which you’re not sure what to do. Here are a few of the more touchy situations where you may not be sure whether “to friendzone or not to friendzone.”
If you have a boyfriend: FRIENDZONE
This one may seem obvious, but if you meet a new guy don’t go testing the waters if you already have a boyfriend. Even if you think you might like him, just be his friend and only friends. It’s not fair to either of these men to flirt with someone new while you’re already committed. Unless you are 100% totally sure you want to disband an established relationship, be platonic—and even then, proceed with caution.
If he has a girlfriend and you like him as a friend: FRIENDZONE
If you like him as a friend awesome, it’s a no-brainer. And just so you’re not seen as a threat, try and buddy up with his girlfriend too. More friends for everyone!
If he has a girlfriend and you like him as more than a friend: FRIENDZONE
Don’t go embarrassing yourself here. You will come off as desperate and it will be sad. If he has a girlfriend already, please do not try to break them up. Treat him in a completely platonic way as you would any friend. Trust us, if he’s into you and it’s meant to be, things will work themselves out. Don’t become a homewrecker for a guy you just met.
If he’s great, but you’re just not attracted to him: FRIENDZONE
If he’s great to hang out with but you’re honestly just not physically/sexually into him, the chances of a successful relationship aren’t going to be very likely. Don’t lead him on; establish yourself as friends from the get-go. If over time these feelings start to develop (sometimes just making you laugh is a turn on in itself), you can reevaluate the relationship.
If you’re attracted to him but he’s a jerk: DON’T FRIENDZONE
Why bother? Say he’s crazy hot but actually kind of a jerk, or maybe he’s really boring and just an overall buzzkill. If you have no interest in being his friend you don’t need to bother with a charade and you don’t need to establish a relationship. If all you want to do if hook up, why not? The friendzone is for just that: friends.
If he’s great and you’re attracted to him: DON’T FRIENDZONE
This should be obvious, but it’s surprising how many girls just don’t go for the guys they actually like. Don’t wait around for him to make the first move. If you like him, go for it! If you don’t, chances are someone else will.
Friendzoning is all pretty much intuition or common sense. Bottom line is, be respectful of other’s feelings but also be in tune to your own. And never feel guilty about friendzoning a guy, no matter what the stigma is. He will react however he will react, but understand that you don’t owe anyone anything other than your respect. Good luck Collegiettes!