Love languages are an endearing concept that helps you familiarize yourself with how you prefer to give and receive love. Conceptualized by Gary Chapman, love languages are a useful tool to improve communication with a romantic partner. Being cognizant of your own preferred love language helps you better navigate relationships (including the one with yourself!). While Chapman focuses more on romantic relationships in his book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, I believe in using your love language to practice self-love. If you are unsure of what your love language is, you can take a test to figure it out here.
As the season changes, we are facing another transition into the colder weather. For many, this can be a combative adjustment as the sun begins to set earlier, and we are reminded of how chilly it can actually get. It’s also “cuffing season.” We tend to gravitate towards companionship around this time of the year, especially as seasonal date activities are in full swing. But, whether you are in a relationship or not, you can use your love language to treat yourself this autumn. I am a big advocate for practicing self-love as much as possible. You are the only person you are guaranteed to be with for life, so you might as well make it a good relationship!
Below are a few ways to incorporate your love language into your daily routine. They are sure to get you into the festive fall spirit!
- Physical Touch
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Applying physical touch as a self-love language is essentially ensuring you are doing things that make your body feel good. Focusing on your physical wellbeing will provide a deeper connection, and leave you feeling more grounded and at peace. That being said, I encourage you to absolutely DIVE into a pile of warm blankets. You can embrace sweater weather by wearing comfy clothes that keep you feeling cozy. You can also take longer, warmer showers that allow you to take care of the body that keeps you going every day. Focusing on skincare or having spa days are also good ways to provide self-care and self-love. I also recommend lighting seasonally scented candles to maintain a cozy aroma and atmosphere in your living spaces.
- Quality Time
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Quality time as a self-love language looks like spending time alone and doing things you love. Spending time alone can seem daunting, yet as you cultivate a deeper relationship with yourself you will find you are not truly alone in your solitude. Embrace the season by taking yourself out for a festive fall activity. This can range anywhere from pumpkin picking to strolling down the fall decor section at Home Goods! Taking time for yourself is crucial. At the end of the day, curl up with your favorite spooky book or turn on a Halloween movie to really embrace the season.
- Words of Affirmation
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If your love language is words of affirmation, you will find that self-talk is one of the most impactful factors in your personal relationship with yourself. Constant negative comments are detrimental to your mental health and are sure to destroy your core relationship with yourself. Putting reminders around your home is key to reminding yourself just how dope you actually are. Writing affirming statements out and placing them in visible parts of your living space will improve your mindset. To keep in tune with the season, you can put these encouraging words on pumpkin-shaped sticky notes or doodle little leaves next to the quotes. I also suggest journaling (maybe in a cute fall-related notebook!) and seeking prompts related to the season that will help you delve deeper and affirm positive thoughts.
- Acts of Service
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Navigating acts of service as a self-love language consists of doing fulfilling things that make life easier and more enjoyable for you. One of the most important things to maintain peace and order as we transition into a new season is by cleaning! Treat yourself by organizing your space to accommodate you more. You can cook yourself nourishing meals that are congruent with all the yummy fall vegetables. Essentially doing anything that makes life more manageable is key to this love language.
- Gift Giving
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I think you can predict what I am going to suggest for gift giving as a love language. I want you to treat yourself to the fullest extent! You should buy gifts for yourself and spend money on things that spark joy in your soul. Invest in yourself this season. You can buy new staple pieces for your autumn wardrobe, or treat yourself to yummy pumpkin goodies from your local bakery. There are many ways to incorporate this love language into your fall routine!
I hope you find a few ways to incorporate some of these self-love methods into your daily routine, regardless of which love language is your primary one! We could all use a little extra love.
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