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U Mass Amherst | Life > Experiences

The Quiet Confidence That Comes from Doing Things Alone

Updated Published
Ashita Sane Student Contributor, University of Massachusetts - Amherst
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Amherst chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

We are so used to seeing people enjoying life in groups that we overlook the quiet confidence that can be built by doing things alone. Our world celebrates connection and doing everything together. It is kind of the norm to grab meals, go shopping, or travel with friends or family members. Sometimes the idea of eating alone at a restaurant or going to the cinema alone seems intimidating, but there is something special about learning to trust yourself and enjoying your own company. 

People often think that being alone means being lonely. Being alone refers to the physical state of being by yourself, while being lonely describes the emotional state of feeling disconnected from others. Once you start realizing that you can be alone without feeling lonely, you start to enjoy the solitude it brings. Of course, it’s easier said than done. Enjoying your own company takes time and effort. At first, you might think everyone is watching you or judging you for sitting alone at a cafe; sitting by yourself can feel awkward and even boring, but once you shake off that feeling, it becomes quite enjoyable. 

Doing things alone helps you become more independent. There won’t be anyone else, so you have to make decisions yourself, no matter how big or small. It can be as simple as picking a cafe to visit, or as big as figuring out your way in a foreign country. These moments force you to trust your judgement and help you to stop relying on others to make plans for yourself. You can confidently take charge of your life and focus on the things that bring you happiness. This freedom of being able to choose for yourself helps you connect with yourself and discover what kind of person you are and what you like doing. It also helps you become more observant and mindful of your surroundings. Without the constant chatter and distractions, you start noticing the things you once overlooked. You start paying more attention to the sound of the wind, how the sunlight hits the trees, and your own thoughts. Being alone is really effective when you are trying to collect and reflect on your feelings; you are able to focus on them without having to worry about others. People say that their best ideas come when they are alone, and it makes sense because you feel so much more free. You are not trying to impress anyone or fit in. You can just think and create freely.

Humans are social creatures and crave a sense of community. But learning to enjoy your own company helps you find balance. Being comfortable alone helps you connect with others better. You stop depending on others to make you feel good; you enjoy friendships because you want them, not because you need them for fulfillment. You can be happy both with others and on your own. That balance is what makes quiet confidence so strong. This kind of confidence doesn’t show off or need attention. It’s not loud or bold, but it’s steady. It’s what helps you stay calm in new situations and be comfortable with silence. You start to feel sure of who you are, even when no one else is around to reassure you. This is the kind of strength that can only be learnt by putting yourself out there and trying things that make you uncomfortable, until they don’t. 

Doing things alone is nothing to be embarrassed about; it’s a simple way to remind yourself that you are enough. You don’t have to be loud or constantly surrounded by people to feel confident. Sometimes it’s found in small moments like sitting at a café, walking through a park, or exploring a new place. Those moments may seem small, but they build something powerful inside you: a quiet confidence that stays, even when no one else is there.

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Ashita Sane

U Mass Amherst '29

Ashita is a writer for Her Campus Media, contributing to the Lifestyle and Culture verticals on the site. She writes about personal experiences, campus life, and topics that explore self-growth, creativity, and travel.

Beyond Her Campus, Ashita is a Freshman at UMass Amherst, majoring in Sociology. She enjoys documenting her experiences through writing and photography, often capturing moments from her travels and campus adventures.

In her free time, she loves junk journaling, exploring new cultures, and experimenting with creative projects. She is always stopping to take pictures even if running late, listening to K-pop, and on the lookout for interesting items to add to her junk journal.