I think we all understand that oftentimes it can be a lot easier to give advice than to take it. For some reason, the perfectly crafted words of wisdom we offer our friends as solutions to their life problems do not work for our own. Depending on the situation, I have mottos that I regurgitate constantly to my friends, and they prove to be rather applicable in my own life.
The most commonly used motto I have is that “two things can be true.” I find myself using this all the time. Particularly in situations where friends are divided in their feelings. I find that it is a useful quote as oftentimes, there is tremendous pressure to only feel one way about a situation. This tends to be a struggle for me to accept because having more than one feeling about a situation can be really confusing and hard to accept. When providing this reminder to my friends, my goal essentially is that they feel that all of their feelings are validated. It is okay to have conflicting thoughts.
As cliche as it may be, I also always tell my friends to “let it go.” Sometimes, we can get worked up about insignificant things. The stress of getting upset about something that generally does not matter is a lot and can be really hard to deal with. In situations where it is not imperative to address an issue, it can be best to just walk away from the situation entirely. This is the hardest thing to do. In the moment, small things can seem incredibly significant. The feelings in the moment are raw, perhaps irrational, and need to be thought through. However, at the time it doesn’t feel that way. I advise my friends to take a step back and try to see the bigger picture, but this is a hard skill to develop. Not everything needs to end in a fight and protecting your own energy requires walking away sometimes.
Finally, we have all heard the classic, “everything happens for a reason.” This is very overused and honestly can be the most annoying thing to be told. However, I still find myself saying it a lot, and so do most people. It can be really irritating as we usually hear this at a moment when something really stressful or awful is happening. In those moments, being told this is infuriating. The idea that for some reason bad things happen to us is so hard to comprehend while they are happening. I often say this to ease some stress for my friends, to insinuate that there is a good outcome to what they are experiencing. Eventually, it does typically prove to be true, as there is usually growth that happens for everything that occurs to us.
At the end of the day saying the same thing all the time to ease life stresses to friends can be irritating, but it is important to recognize that the irritation they face when we do this we also put out when the roles are reversed. This is not to say that we throw these mottos out the window. However, when we see how we respond to them, we should expect and understand how our friends will react in the same manner.
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