Communication is the key to any relationship. Thankfully, with the ability to text, call, FaceTime or Skype, this makes everything so much easier. But can you imagine being cut off completely from your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend – literally anyone, and not be able to communicate with technology for eleven weeks? This is exactly what my boyfriend and I had to go through last semester when he joined the National Guard and was off to South Carolina for Basic Training.
Some background about us: we’ll start by calling him “M.” M and I met freshman year of college right before spring break at a fraternity party and hit it off (he’s in a fraternity, I’m not; it was also not his frat we met at). I know what you’re thinking, how could you possibly meet at a guy at a frat party? Well, it happened. After spring break, we hung out a lot and although the end of the school year and the summer was coming up, decided we didn’t want to not see each other all summer so we made it official.
Flash forward through all sophomore year and half of junior year. I went abroad in the spring of junior year but we still kept in touch through Viber and FaceTime. Although the distance was hard sometimes, talking and video chatting made it seem like we weren’t that far away.
This past summer, he decided to join the Massachusetts National Guard; I totally and 100 percent supported his decision. We had already been through so much in our relationship so I thought this would just be another semester without each other. It won’t be too bad, I thought, we had just done this while I was abroad.
However, what I didn’t realize until later was that he wouldn’t have his phone with him. We had never gone more than one day without speaking in our relationship and I had no idea how I would be able to handle this. Talking to a person you love brings you comfort, assurance and makes you feel closer despite the distance. I really didn’t know how I would be able to handle almost three months of no text messages, no phones, no nothing. The only thing we could do was write letters to each other.
He left in the middle of September and the first thing I did when he left was go to Target to buy stationery and the Post Office to buy stamps. He was able to call once during the first week he was there but only to tell me the address of where to send the letters. Then, that was it. No more technology.
I wrote him everyday about my daily life – how I went to class, the gym, funny adventures my roommates and I had going out at night, and anything else I could think of. He’s a huge Patriots fan so I would send him the stats of the games every Monday. I would make notes in my phone throughout the day to remind myself to include it in the letter. These are things I would usually text him about during the day but instead I had to wait to write it down.
I became so anxious when the third week rolled around and still no letter in the mail. I became friends with the mailman since he noticed everyday I was sending letters. I would ask him whenever he came to the door if he had anything for me and the answer was always no. Finally, three weeks after he left, I had given up on getting any letters that day so I went to the gym right after my class. I was about to walk in when I got texts from three of my roommates saying, “Come home now!” and “Something came for you!” They sent me pictures of them holding the letters and my work out changed from going to the gym to running home.
I got two letters that day and they were perfect, definitely worth the wait. They were cute, funny, and sweet. After reading the letters, I knew that we would be able to overcome this next obstacle. The first time I read it, I cried. I read it out loud to my roommates and we all cried together, it was so sweet. In that moment, I could not have been any happier.
As the semester went on, I got letters from him all the time. They were about his training, his friends and usually about the food. The letters were his favorite part of the day he wrote, and they were mine, too.
He was able to call me about three times over the course of his training, usually whenever he completed a phase. It wasn’t until he called that I realized how much I had been missing it. The calls were really short – only ten minutes, but they were totally worth it.
While I thought using snail mail and no technology would be hard, it became easier over time. That’s not to say there weren’t times when it was hard. I sometimes would forget that I couldn’t text him and I would. I felt like I was back in a time when there was no technology and I thought it was really cute.
I think using letters to communicate made our relationship stronger. We both had to take the time to sit down and write instead of quickly sending a text; it was much more personal this way. I realized I could survive without talking all the time and be more on my own. I had so much fun with my roommates who were a great distraction for when I did get sad or lonely. It also made it so much sweeter when I did see him in South Carolina for his graduation. Those letters made it all worth it.
Now, I have all these amazing letters to keep forever. Thanks M!