Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
cole zanab married love is blind?width=1280&height=854&fit=crop&auto=webp&dpr=4
cole zanab married love is blind?width=398&height=256&fit=crop&auto=webp&dpr=4
Patrick Wymore/Netflix © 2022
U Mass Amherst | Wellness > Sex + Relationships

Relationship Advice From a Girl Who Fell First (And Didn’t Give Up)

Updated Published
Kylie Desmond Student Contributor, University of Massachusetts - Amherst
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at U Mass Amherst chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

Because sometimes the universe gives you a goofy soulmate and expects you to figure it out.

Falling first is every girl’s unfortunate canon event. It is absolutely terrifying — especially when you’re a cringey 16-year-old who is convinced the boy you like is way out of your league. When I first realized that I liked my boyfriend, I didn’t trip. I didn’t fall. I swan-dived. He was cute and somewhat mysterious. I found him hard to read, but there was something about him that I couldn’t simply let go. I wanted to know the parts about him that he didn’t share with others.

If you have ever been at this stage, you know exactly what I mean — it’s the why am I thinking about him every five minutes kind of feeling. I felt so silly and delusional. But even still, I knew he was worth not giving up on. My intuition would just not shut up about it. I didn’t know it precisely at the time, but I was falling for my soulmate.

Love Is Blind S3 E9 00 07 05 09R?width=1024&height=1024&fit=cover&auto=webp&dpr=4
Courtesy of Netflix © 2022

Our Story (An Embarrassing Slow Burn)

At some point in my sophomore year of high school, I could no longer stay quiet. My internal monologue got so loud that I randomly just decided to text him, “Hey, I know this is random, but I like you, and you don’t have to respond.”

And he, in fact, did not respond. I was devastated. I wanted to evaporate in that exact moment — just like the Wicked Witch of the West. But a week later, there I was casually asking him for help on my math homework and completely avoiding the fact that I had confessed everything in a crappy text message. We totally joke about this now, but at the time, it was a tragic comedy, so much so that William Shakespeare would have taken some notes.

The summer before junior year, we texted all day and all night. We never admitted our feelings for each other. I thought I was being extremely obvious. He thought he had “fumbled” forever because he didn’t respond the first time. It was MONTHS of this.

But when junior year started, we finally made some progress. There was one day we didn’t talk as much because of a silly argument we had involving another boy who liked me. Then, my boyfriend said that “…he knew I would mess up again, so he would get us to get over each other and then he could date you or whatever.”

This was the first time he admitted he liked me. I was shocked, and he dared to ask, “Was that news to you?” Like … you ignored my first confession for an entire week.

We didn’t start dating until February of that year, but if you ask me, the slow burn made everything a little sweeter.

Love Is Blind S3 E3 00 40 03 12RC?width=1024&height=1024&fit=cover&auto=webp&dpr=4
Courtesy of Netflix © 2022

What You Can Learn From My Story

Three big things stuck with me:

1. Patience is Your Best Friend

Love is patient, not instant gratification. Sometimes it’s months of texting, awkward silences, and waiting for someone to catch up emotionally. But if they’re worth it, it never feels like wasted time.

2. Learn and Grow Together

You don’t need someone perfect — you need someone willing — someone who tries and who wants to grow with you.

3. Say What You Want Out Loud

You cannot assume the other person knows what you want or how you are feeling. He is not Edward Cullen for Christ’s sake. Communication is not the enemy — silence is. 

And for anyone who’s currently in the “falling first and spiraling” era: Do not rush it. Trust timing and let things unfold. If it’s meant for you, you could wait an eternity, and it won’t slip away. 

And also … don’t give up. Seriously. Don’t.

The Final Truth

If you walk away with one message, let it be this: Love takes time. The kind where you doubt yourself a little, overthink a lot, and learn to trust what you feel even when it’s scary. Love is when you grow into the person who’s ready for the relationship you want. 

Please trust me when I say that falling first isn’t embarrassing — it’s brave. At the end of the day, the right person is always worth the wait.

Can’t get enough of HC UMass Amherst? Be sure to follow us on Instagram, listen to us on Spotify, like us on Facebook, and read our latest Tweets!

Kylie Desmond

U Mass Amherst '29

kylie is a freshman at umass amherst studying english and education. she loves to write, read, and play stardew valley in her free time!