As I was doomscrolling on Instagram, I came across a post that said, “Fall is the season which transforms every confident high school senior to a nervous college freshman.” Fall truly is the season of change – shedding, transforming, and starting new. Growing up in India, I had never experienced fall before. It was always endless stretches of hot and humid summer weather, mixed with heavy monsoon showers. There was never a season of transformation and no visible sign that something new was beginning. Coming to Amherst, I was surrounded by change; the bright summer days slowly faded into chilly mornings and cold breezes. For the first time I could see the world around me shifting, and somewhere in that process, I realized how much I was changing too.
When I say ‘change’ I don’t mean dying your hair a different color or having a summer glow-up. I mean leaving the comfort of what I knew to be familiar and stepping into the unpredictability of something entirely different. Back home, my days were always the same. I would go to school, then to my tutor, and then come home to do homework. That routine left me drained, and I often isolated myself, rarely making the effort to meet new people. I had always cherished my alone time, but now I find myself craving company, meeting people, and being surrounded by their energy. Late-night study sessions, chatting in the dining halls, and long walks across campus have become moments I look forward to. It is strange, in a good way, how a new environment can bring out parts of you that you didn’t even know existed.
All through high school, I was shaped by rules and a repetitive routine. My days were predictable and organized around assignments, friends, and timetables, which left me exhausted. Coming to college changed that; I was now responsible for which classes to take, when to eat, and when to study. While this kind of freedom is exciting, it also feels overwhelming. Without the predictability and structure of high school, it’s so much easier to lose track of time and balance. Compared to high school, the time I spend attending classes and working on assignments is a lot less, leaving me with more free time. At first, I didn’t know what to do with it because I felt like I always had to be productive. But gradually, I’ve learned to use that time more intentionally. I’ve started focusing on things that actually make me happy, whether that’s spending time with friends, exploring campus, or simply giving myself some time to rest. I have learned how to create a balance in my life, which helps me not feel burnt out.
Friendships have always been a big part of my life. Most of my friends are people I’ve known for at least five years. We grew up together and helped each other through so many ups and downs. Our bond was deep and built over time. I was so used to being around them, and the comfort of being understood so easily, that the idea of finding new friends in college was terrifying. Finding new friends wasn’t the only challenge; I also had to figure out how to stay in touch with the ones back home. After moving to college, I realized how much I had taken them for granted. It was so much easier to maintain our friendship when we saw each other every day. Now, we have to calculate time differences and make an effort to talk while living in completely different parts of the world. Coming to college has taught me that it’s okay for some friendships to stay on the surface. Building meaningful connections takes time, and sometimes you just have to keep putting yourself out there.
Change is never instant. It’s a slow and sometimes messy process. I still catch myself slipping back into old habits. There are days when I don’t feel like leaving my dorm and have to push myself to be around people. On other days, it takes extra effort just to keep up with readings and stay on track with classes. But I’m learning that it’s okay to have those moments. Growth isn’t about being perfect all the time. It’s about showing up and trying again. Fall reminds me of that. The trees outside don’t change overnight. The colors shift slowly, one leaf at a time, until one morning everything looks different. I think that’s what this season of my life is like too. It’s a quiet kind of change, sometimes hard to notice, but still happening all the same.
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