Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter; I am probably more guilty than anybody of restlessly switching between these apps all day out of boredom. We all know too well the feeling of swiping between cute selfies on friends’ stories and then sliding to the front-facing camera only to be brutally assaulted with the unflattering image of our very own faces. But sometimes that feeling lasts a bit longer than the fraction of a second it takes to hastily swipe away. The feeling of being inadequate, ugly… repulsive. I can hype up all my beautiful friends in their comment sections, so why can’t I hype myself up in the mirror?
It can also be tough trying to cope with heavy feelings while using these apps as a means to escape. Social media demands that we all “perform” for each other, posting content that we think people will like or pictures that make us seem cooler and more attractive. It’s an easy way to quickly become a caricature of yourself, trapped behind the online persona you’ve made. It only makes it all the more difficult when you feel a disconnect from that persona, seeing everyone else on your friends list seemingly having the time of their lives. Various artists have great material that talk about this subject, like Bo Burnham’s “Make Happy,” or “Goodnight Noises Everywhere” by Geoffrey Gatza. We are seeing a phenomenon unlike any that generations prior have faced. So how do you escape it?
One thing you must remember about social media is that everyone is projecting to you what they want you to see. We all suffer from insecurities. I’d be surprised if I could find a single person who is happy 100% of the time. We must all collectively destigmatize vulnerability. Once we become able to open up about our issues online, then we don’t have to feel as alone. You have no obligation to post only the happy version of yourself. In fact, you don’t have an obligation to post at all. It’s becoming more rare to meet people who are considered “off the grid,” but that really isn’t such a bad idea. Sometimes spending time away from social media and focusing on your own mental health is the best thing for you.
On the other hand, sometimes there are platforms that can help you when you’re struggling. There are lots of Instagram pages and Twitter accounts dedicated to adding some positivity and self-care reminders to your news feed. And many people my age don’t really use Facebook, but Facebook groups are a great source of finding like-minded individuals who can help you open up. I’m in various venting and body-positive groups where members support and remind each other that the “perfect person” we all wish we could be doesn’t exist and that we’re all perfect the way we are. Sure, I’m not as skinny as some other girls. I don’t have amazing teeth or makeup skills or clothes. But that doesn’t mean I can’t still be happy with myself. I think there’s a huge stigma surrounding confidence — show too much, and people call you egotistical. Show too little, and people think you’re looking for attention. The trick is to let go of worrying about what others may think about you. Easier said than done, obviously, but it’s something worth working on. Social media only has the power over you that you let it have. Never feel afraid to reach out or simply unplug when you need it. If you’re reading this, you need to remember that you are important and worth loving.
Keep in mind that learning to love yourself takes time and practice. You might need to change your whole mindset, and it may not be easy, but it is worth it. We all have deeply ingrained ideas of how we should act and how we should look and what we should like, and it’s okay if that’s not you. You are already fine the way you are, you just need to take the steps that will help you see it. Take silly pictures, post sad statuses, leave people on read if you want! Hype yourself up, treat yourself, and do whatever it is you want to do. You are worth it.