For four years my life was fairly consistent. I went to school, to practice, home, did homework, went to bed, repeat — five days a week. I was a three-season athlete and played volleyball and ran distance for indoor and outdoor track. I definitely was not the star of the teams by any means, but I found comfort in the sense of routine. When you run an average of 25 miles a week for practice, there is never really a need to worry about working out on your own.
When I got to college, I found it really hard to create a structure for myself when it came to working out. For the last four years, I had people telling me exactly what to do, how long to do it for, and chastising me if I didn’t do it. Even when I tried to run on my own, I found it really difficult to find motivation without someone telling me I had to run. Running is about mental toughness and after years of competition and hard workouts I was burnt out, to say the least. Constant competition can take a toll on your mental health (but that’s a topic for another article).
A big portion of sports is about team effort. Even with track, which is a highly individual sport, five-mile group runs really give you time to talk and bond. Going from working out as a collective effort to being by yourself makes the gym feel pretty lonely. Given the combination of not knowing how to workout without the support of a coach and teammates plus being a burnt-out runner, I felt pretty hopeless.
For months, I pretty much gave up on working out and was leading a really unhealthy lifestyle. I would go on occasional runs and attend spin classes at the Rec Center (10/10 would recommend those, super fun), but nothing ever stayed consistent. At one point, I even reached out to one of my old coaches and they told me I just had to find the motivation within myself.
Right before we got sent home because of Corona, my friend and I decided to start going to the gym. We went a few times, but our time was cut short. As soon as we got sent home, I once again felt defeated. I was unhappy with my body image and honestly just felt lazy. Don’t get me wrong, I definitely did the stereotypical Chloe Ting quarantine 2-week shred, but besides that, I was pretty much back at square one.
It was not until about three months ago that I finally got into the rhythm of moving my body again. One of my old teammates and I got gym memberships and started formulating workouts that were going to be beneficial for our entire body, not just running until our legs fell off like we were so used to doing. Having even one other “work out buddy” with you is a great way to recreate the feeling of having a team. Creating plans and workouts together replaces the need for a coach and makes you in charge of your own body.
The moral of the story is that you cannot look at working out as something you have to do but rather as something you want to do. If you look at running or going to the gym as an obligation, you will find yourself burnt out and not enjoying yourself. You have to find joy in the rewards and in the process. Use working out as a coping mechanism, associate it with feeling good and empowered, not a chore that must be completed. Soon, you will want to run or workout when you are feeling upset, rather than feeling upset after you work out. You can’t work out just because you want to look a certain way, but because you want to be kind to yourself. You want to move your body and keep it healthy. Lose the competition mindset. Athletes are trained to compete, but you are not racing anymore. Stop competing with your former self!
As soon as I lost the mindset that I needed someone hovering over me, pushing me to workout and gave that power to myself, I gained motivation and confidence. Once I stopped feeling like I needed to work out to look a certain way or because I felt like I had to, I actually started enjoying my time at the gym and feeling satisfied once I left. When you are working out for the wrong reasons, you will never feel like you are doing enough.
Though habits can be tough to break and mindsets are hard to rearrange when you have been stuck in the same patterns for years, it can be done. To all my former mediocre athletes struggling to push their bodies to move the way that they used to without the support of a team, you will find your way. Wait until you can work out for the pure satisfaction of feeling good, because, when you feel good, you look good, and when you look good, you feel good.