My three-year-long relationship ended just weeks before transferring to UMass Amherst. To be honest, it was difficult. For so long, I had my routine, my comfort people, and familiarity all around me. Suddenly, I was placed on a new campus with a version of myself I hadn’t quite met yet. But with some time, I began learning new things about myself. What helps get out my emotions, makes me feel at peace, and simply, who I am, separate from someone else. Throughout this article, I am going to share ways I’ve been finding peace and learning to enjoy being alone again.Â
Spill It Out
I cannot emphasize this method enough. Journaling both through videos and in my diary has been an influential way to process my emotions. More importantly, it allows me to look back on certain moments throughout my healing journey and see how far I’ve come. Whether I’m having a good or bad day, I will make a video diary and jot down my thoughts on a piece of paper. This method keeps me grounded and bonded to my growth, serving as a constant reminder that I am making progress.
Setting Goals
Setting small goals for myself has given me a sense of direction throughout this period in my life. Focusing on lifestyle goals, I’ve prioritized going to the gym and going on walks. Moving my body allows me to reduce certain feelings that weigh me down, and gives me time to reconnect with my thoughts. Further, these goals have added structure and routine to my life. Over time, the physical progress begins to show, and it’s within these consistent steps that add confidence to both my mental and physical health.
Sing It Out
Whether I am on a walk, lying in bed, or singing in the car, music has been one of the most effective tools in my healing journey. Certain songs have a way of speaking to emotions, and I help ground myself when I fully immerse myself in the lyrics and meaning behind the songs. The albums I listen to on repeat are Sour by Olivia Rodrigo and Am I Okay? by Megan Moroney, and many, many Taylor Swift songs. Music has been a way of understanding disorganized emotions.
Surround Yourself With Positivity
Having healthy support systems is so helpful during a situation such as a breakup. Surrounding yourself with people who uplift you, listen to you rant, and provide you with valuable advice allows for the reminder that you’re not alone. With the right people, healing doesn’t have to feel like an isolating process. When your circle is filled with support, love, and respect, you can rebuild yourself into the best version of yourself.
Healing isn’t linear, and it takes time, even if many don’t want to hear that. Whether it’s journaling your feelings, singing your heart out, ranting to your best friends, or setting everyday goals, each habit is a step in the healing journey. Healing after a long-term breakup is the process of finding yourself again in new ways. Throughout these past few months, I’ve learned that it’s okay to be alone, since it allows you to flourish in new ways.
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