For many ethnic students on Predominantly white campuses, the struggle for connection can be all too real.
Our first month of school has come to an end here at UMass Amherst, and it’s left behind a memorable impression. Starting with back-to-school events such as the kickoff carnival, the club expo, the unforgettable Flo Milli concert at the Mullins Center, and ending it all with the beloved homecoming at McGuirk. A true college experience, but there is more to that truth.
As much as everyone looks forward to packing up and leaving home, making friends, and growing into who you are, unfortunately, you cannot avoid the fact that the college experience encompasses more than just the highs. For one, there’s the harsh reality of navigating your sense of belonging. Of taking this unfamiliar place and turning it into a home. Now home can feel like a lot of different things for a lot of different people. It could be the pets you left behind, family and friends, the vibe of your hometown, or the very smell of your childhood home. But in the end, there something always pulls us back to whatever feels like home. To our roots.
For those with diverse, ethnic backgrounds, staying close to those roots (especially in a predominantly white school) is a challenge. I say this from experience as a Brazilian woman, that feeling validated in my identity is a constant battle. Loneliness, homesickness…. These feelings can be applied to any student, but this discussion goes beyond the feeling. It’s about the why. What makes the alienation of an ethnic person different from that of the white American? Two words. Cultural adjustment.
To start, what is cultural adjustment? It’s a process that an individual goes through when getting used to a new environment or culture. Interestingly enough, if you search it up on the internet, you’ll find that many universities such as University of California Berkeley, Penn State, and even Brown share this pattern of discussion. This suggests that cultural adjustment is definitely a concern between students (whether you’re a first-year student or just studying abroad). While these institutions acknowledge the importance of it, that doesn’t mean the issue is fully addressed. In fact, the issue tends to stem more from the student community itself, rather than the universities. These universities may even provide support systems, but the reality is that students just don’t want to engage with these systems, because, for most of us, the thoughts associated with school are that of homework and disdain. Not somewhere you feel you can go to with your personal problems, and that’s okay. At the end of the day, we’re going to want support and to be understood by our own friends – by the people we surround ourselves with, and that means that it’s up to us as the student body to look out for our peers of ethnic backgrounds. If this is something that does not affect you, that doesn’t mean it’s not affecting your roommate or any one of your friends.
This silent crisis that ethnic students go through is not spoken of enough, as it gets constantly compared to the typical white American experience. It makes people like us feel like we have to comply, conform, and just be okay with these feelings of contemplation and isolation – that we’ll get over it just because others do. But we shouldn’t have to. To effectively support your friends going through issues like this, you need to recognize that the problem lies within us, but so does the power to make it right.
Take my lovely friend Camila Yunis for starters. She’s a Colombian Lebanese junior studying Spanish and Psychology on the Pre-Med track here at UMass, and she’s helped me acclimate to university life by doing one simple thing. Saying my name right. For years, even beyond college, I’ve allowed people to say my name incorrectly because it’s easier for them, without realizing that this has caused me to gradually feel less and less like myself. I’d experience moments of invisibility and dissociation, never feeling like I had a say in things, or like anything I did mattered. I felt like I was always taking up space, or that I was being a nuisance just by asking people to say my name right. It’s a gross feeling that’s affected my life so profoundly, and yet I find myself ignoring that feeling, and living under the assumption that this is normal when it’s not.
Since Camila began saying my name correctly, a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I actually feel seen, and that means something when you’re away from home. This has also given me the confidence to correct people in my life and to stand up for myself. My friend doing this simple gesture has changed my life, and it’s the sort of energy we need for each other as students.
So for us struggling with situations like this, how do we feel less alienated? How do we stay close to those roots so that they don’t pull? Here’s what Camila herself has to say about it, and Gabriel Fagundes, a Brazilian junior Psychology student at our sister university, UMass Boston, and another great friend of mine.
Gabriel: “One of the key memories I have of alienation is when I brought Brazilian food to school as a kid and was interrogated about it like – well, an alien from outer space. Luckily I grew up in a very diverse space, and even now attend a very diverse institution. Being in such a space made me realize how many times I have felt “othered” in the past, and that perhaps I should do something about it. Be my authentic self. The first thing I did was correct people when they pronounced my name wrong. It’s small, but the difference in how it makes me feel – more connected to my family, my people, my culture, is huge. One advice I’d give is don’t be ashamed – or rather afraid to speak up when something doesn’t align with who you are. That can be who you are culturally, but also in different aspects. Be who you are unabashedly.”
Camila: “I’ve definitely coped with some alienation, and in a lot of ways I’m still coping with it. I definitely deal with that in a very cliche way – not white enough for the white girls, not brown enough for the brown girls, that kind of thing. And even within the context of my own culture, I feel alienated. I’m Lebanese too, and there are a lot of Arab students on campus and they get excited when they hear I’m Lebanese, but then I have to explain that, yes, I’m Lebanese, but I’m also Colombian, and I can’t help but feel like I’m disappointing people when I have to explain that I’m part of this very niche identity to them. However, it almost feels wrong to say I’m ashamed of it, because I’m really not. It’s something I take pride in because of how much my grandfather meant to me. He was a very powerful person, and in that way, being able to identify with him and who he is is very empowering to me. I think that’s part of the reason why I always hold my head high and march to the beat of my own drum. That kind of thing is because of him. I feel like there are a lot of people in these communities who are in a similar place to you. I say throw yourself into those communities. It’s nice to hear other people’s stories, you just have to get out of your head about it. Nobody is here to judge you, and they’re probably feeling the same way. It’s really fun to talk about what you love about your culture and getting to be you unapologetically. You end up finding a lot of people to connect with.”
What sets our alienation apart from that of the white American is a collection of things. It’s the sense that we’re losing ourselves. It’s feeling lost not just in this new physical environment, but spiritually and mentally. Just know you’re not alone and that there are others who feel the same way in other schools or in your very own dorm hall. If you feel overlooked, take action, even if it’s something as “small” as correcting the way people say your name. And if you know someone who might feel this way, reach out. Taking notice of this can not only help somebody, but it strengthens our community. In short, be yourself. Bring the parts of who you are at home with you to college. That’s the truest way to make college your home, and how to feel less alone in a new environment.
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