Hookup culture refers to a social environment where casual sexual encounters, such as one-night stands, are encouraged without including the factors of emotional attachment or commitment. In modern college environments, hookup culture has become nearly synonymous with campus life. The rise of hookup culture can be rooted in societal changes that include the normalization of casual sex in pop culture and media, the accessibility of dating apps, and the attitude shift towards traditional relationships.
While casual sex is often painted as an empowering scene (particularly for women), as it allows an individual to have free will over their body and experiences, this isn’t necessarily the case. Being an active participant in hookup culture that enjoys all aspects of the culture without feeling negative effects on personal well-being requires emotional detachment from your sexual partners. This is often framed as a strength or a skill to possess, but how can forcing yourself to lack empathy for others be described as anything other than cold-hearted?
When individuals have sex, certain bonding chemicals are released; primarily oxytocin in women, and primarily vasopressin in men. Oxytocin is known as the “love hormone,” and is also released during social bonding, spending time with loved ones, and after childbirth to promote mother-child bonding. To have such strong chemicals be released during casual sex (vasopressin can be seen as the “male equivalent” to oxytocin, although it is not as focused on social interactions), it is almost guaranteed that an individual will feel emotionally attached to their sexual partner.
However, when hookups are frequent, the neurological production of these chemicals decreases over time, which leads to very real consequences that many often refuse to admit to.
Research shows that when casual sex occurs without feeling emotional intimacy to your sexual partner, the lack of stabilization for the bonding chemicals leads to a mismatch with your emotional and psychological wellbeing. The temporary feelings of closeness that individuals feel during casual sex that are triggered by these bonding chemicals are referred to as “biochemical bonding.” Since oxytocin and vasopressin foster feelings of closeness and attachment, your brain is unable to render the casual sex as a complete bond. Coercing your brain to continuously experience the release of bonding chemicals, and then severing the bonds over and over leads to difficulty in forming genuine and deep connections, as your brain has learned that casualness is the new norm.
For this portion, I’m going to focus more on women, as the gendered double standards continue to perpetuate in social spaces such as hookup culture. Research shows that women struggle more than men when it comes to the prevention of emotional attachment. When this occurs, they are more prone to have feelings of inadequacy and regret, as well as feel “used” by their sexual partner after the fact. In one study, researchers explored the impact of CSREs, or casual sexual relationships and experiences, through the lens of psychological well-being, examining symptoms such as depressive and suicidal ideation, low self-esteem, and substance use. Their findings indicated lower psychological well-being in women who engage in CSREs (though this may be due to pre-existing vulnerabilities, hence the gendered double standards).
So, is participating in hookup culture wrong? Not directly, but it is important to consider the broader implications. Sex is more than a physical act: it humanizes existence and produces a myriad of ecstatic emotions and hormones. As individuals become more emotionally detached, the important factors that contribute to genuine connections also continue to erode in other interpersonal relationships. Hookup culture will foster relationships, whether desired or not; there will always be a connection between you and a sexual partner.
The privilege of autonomy should not come at the cost of emotional and psychological well-being or the sacrifice of empathy and respect.
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