I know that rejection is a universal experience for everyone. In different ways, we all have been rejected, whether it’s from a significant other, a college, or a job. Regardless of the circumstances, when we feel rejected, it targets multiple parts of ourselves. In my case, I have been rejected countless times. It has either been from a guy, jobs I was interested in, or even stemmed from a younger age rejection by my peers. I think that I am not alone when I say that, and most can say that it has happened to all of us.
If you can confidently say that you haven’t, well, lucky you! But that’s not most of us.
So when it comes to the idea of being rejected, I think where it hits us the most is our self-esteem and our self-worth. I often resort to self-deprecating phrases like, “No one will ever like me,” “I am stupid,” or “I am never going to be happy.” It creates a spiraling feeling within my head, and that’s when all those negative thoughts come to the surface. But, for the past year, I have been working hard on myself to take rejection lightly and not always blame myself. It doesn’t mean accountability isn’t being taken where it should be, but more so understanding that certain things are out of our control and we can’t live our lives tearing ourselves apart constantly.
Trust me, I have been there. I still am guilty of taking rejection extremely personally, but it’s best to understand it from every angle possible. There is a reason for everything. I remember one time when I was upset, my roommate told me, “Sometimes good things come out of the bad.” And I can agree that when something happens which upsets us deeply, it can set us on a different path than we would’ve initially gone without that disappointment. And that new path might lead you toward something even better. It just emphasizes the idea that what is meant to be, will be.
One thing I found has helped me with rejection is listening to music with positive words and no depressing sad music that say super negative things. I used to listen to sad songs constantly when I was upset, but I felt like while my feelings were being validated, it also just continued the cycle of negativity. I found that listening to upbeat music, which may even make some of us roll our eyes, can really help with rejection. From personal experience, I found that after facing rejection in my love life, listening to love songs that have the sappiest of lyrics can help me shift back into a better mindset when it comes to love. Or even listening to music about being successful or lucky can just help you refrain from the thoughts which demean yourself and your general life.
I also found that journaling, talking to others, and just keeping yourself grounded through activities that you enjoy can also help with the pain of rejection. To each their own.
What I will leave you all with is that rejection is a part of life. But, it is up to each person to decide how they are going to internalize it. Understanding that it happens but not letting yourself get sucked up into the negative spiral is already a huge step.
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