To the Boy Who Ruined Me, Thank You

Dear P,

Three years is a long time for a relationship that started in high school. You were everything I needed at the time and what I thought I wanted. I spent months after our break up infuriated. Being only 19 years old, I felt I had wasted so much of my life on you. On top of that, you wrecked my confidence, gave me trust issues, and left me with a very wrong idea of what a relationship is supposed to be. After months of anger, I have come to realize that everything I went through was truly a gift. Thank you for teaching me everything I don’t want in a relationship.

If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have found someone who has taught me all the right things about being in a relationship. You weren’t the only one who made mistakes in our relationship, I had my fair share. But being in a relationship is about helping one another improve on their flaws in a healthy way. He has taught me how to be open, honest, patient, and forgiving. When we have problems, we can talk it out in a healthy way. My hope for you is that the next girl that walks into your life can show you what a healthy relationship is.

I don’t have to beg him to apologize, I don’t have to beg him for support, and I don’t have to beg him to appreciate me, because he does automatically. When we wake up in the morning, usually the first thing he says to me is “I am so grateful for you”, which is something that would have never even crossed your mind. And even if he isn’t “the one”, he has taught me so much about healthy relationships. I am so thankful you didn’t choose me, because he got to choose me.

Thanks again, C