The most challenging experience that everyone faces is growing up. Everyone and everything you once knew is changing, and with that, you’re changing too. As a kid, all you want to do is be an adult… here we are! Yay. But guess what, it’s completely different from what our middle school selves imagined. I’m writing this to tell you that’s okay! Change is scary, but it’s inevitable. We must learn to embrace it, rather than break ourselves trying to prevent it. In college, I have struggled to let my old self go, frightened by the uncertainty that comes with losing who I once was. But I have now realized that the only way to grow is with change (no matter how daunting that sounds).
what defines a friendship
One of the hardest things I have faced in college was losing my childhood friends. Not in bad ways, either— just at one moment you talk to them every day, and the next you realize you haven’t spoken in weeks. Sometimes it would seem better to have a real falling out, rather than this gradual and strange ending of a friendship. Drifting from people feels like the end of the world, but it’s only the end of your past. Your future is full of so many amazing people you haven’t even met yet; take that with excitement rather than fear. I found that college is where I met my favorite people. While I still love and support all of my childhood friends, I find comfort in knowing I have made new friends and will continue this cycle as my life progresses. With this topic, it is important to highlight that who you surround yourself with inevitably creates who you are. Hang on to the life lessons your past friendships have taught you, but change with ideas your new friends may bring to light (only if they are positive, of course – if your new friends bring out a worse person in yourself, I suggest leaving the friendship ASAP). And if you are struggling to find new friends, that’s okay too. One major change I saw in myself from high school to college was becoming a more independent person, and I couldn’t be prouder.
What is my new “Thing?”
At one point in my life, sports meant everything. It was my way of succeeding, of being validated, just something my entire world revolved around. Then I went to college and quit all my sports. Such a normal thing, but it left me confused about where to find new self-worth. What I went through, this feeling of being lost, is something most people do when outgrowing their old selves. I knew playing sports wasn’t my thing anymore, but I didn’t know what my thing actually was. Letting go of old hobbies, even when they don’t bring you happiness anymore, is hard. It’s like losing a part of yourself. But what I learned through this process is that what defines your past doesn’t define your future. Growing out of old things leads to so many new doors opening, and so many experiences just waiting for you to come in. Another symbol of change may be your appearance. Little things, like changing your clothing style, trying new hair colors, even things as small as switching from gold to silver jewelry, all represent you growing up and finding yourself. I know all of my gold jewelry just sitting in my room collecting dust is proud of how far my new silver jewelry and I have come!
outgrowing DOESN’T mean COMPLETELY changing
I’m not saying that becoming a completely different person is necessary for success; maybe it is for you, but in my case, it’s not. I go on talking about how I learned to be okay with all this change in myself, but how do you still be your authentic self through the change? What brings me comfort is keeping constants in my life. I know this sounds cringe, but rewatching Gilmore Girls at least once a year really helps keep me grounded. I revert to my 10-year-old self-watching it for the first time, in awe of how Lorelei Gilmore talks so fast (I aspire to get to her level of banter). Equally as important, never forget where you came from. To reiterate, don’t forget the life lessons your past relationships have taught you. Never stop caring about those who made you who you are, even if you don’t talk anymore. I like to keep tabs on everyone (some people may say this is stalking, I say it’s caring <3). I check in from time to time to make sure all my old friends are still good. We are not close, but I still love them from afar.
Conclusion
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened”- Dr. Seuss. Day after day, I miss my past, who I once was. Being a child, carefree, my only worry was what was for dessert…what a life. Boy, times have changed. It’s scary growing up, and it’s even scarier realizing your old childhood self is growing up in the process. Our appearances are not only changing, but our minds are as well. Instead of taking all this with fear, I encourage you to vast in the excitement of the unknown. Be proud of outgrowing your old self; we can’t be kids forever.