Born and raised in New England, I will admit that I rarely follow the speed limit. When I found myself driving, I was always thinking about where I was going. Until very recently, my tendency to rush around and put the pedal to the metal was something that followed me around even after I parked the car. I was always thinking about where I was going next, what I still have to do, what my plan was for the day, how much longer I have until said plans, what all of my work is going to lead me to, and what I am going to do once I am home. The thoughts in my head were faster than the last lap of the Daytona 500.
After finally opening up about this, I realized I wasn’t alone. Many others are living in a constant state of fight-or-flight, needing constant stimulation and distraction to remain “okay.”
I finally forced myself to slow down over winter break. After having a taste of a simpler lifestyle centered around grounding myself in the moment, I realize that slowing down is the key to being the best person you can be. The best poet. The best coach. The best musician. The best girlfriend or boyfriend.
Learning to slow down in a media-driven world feels so counterintuitive that it becomes genuine hard work. Good things take time, though. I am still working on it, but there are a few simple strategies to start with.
JOURNALING
As someone who has struggled with mental health since middle school, many people have told me to try journaling. For so long, I thought journaling had to be an elaborately written and coherent entry about my thoughts and events of the day. This is an overwhelming task for anyone, especially at the end of the night.
My thoughts and feelings surrounding journaling changed when I started experimenting with the format of each entry. Instead of a long sequence of freely associated thoughts, I remembered my love for lists. At the end of the night, I will list out three things: what’s been on my mind, random joys and things that made me happy throughout the day, and things I am grateful for. I have found that these three categories give me a space to dump any negative or intrusive thoughts, but then allow me to move on to acknowledging snippets of happiness and the many aspects of my life that I am grateful for.
SLOWING down your daily tasks
Why are you speed walking? Why are you vacuuming like you have to finish the rug as quickly as possible? Why are you ignoring the beauty of the drive to your destination? Physically slowing down during the day has helped me appreciate the current moment and relax stored tension in my body.
Why not stop and admire everything the way you would a sunset? The world will not end if you are a few minutes late to class, so stop to observe the snow on the trees. The world will not end if unloading the dishwasher takes an hour because you were dancing on your way to the cabinets.
Learning to be alone
You don’t need a romantic partner or even friends to do the activities you want! Learning to be alone with yourself is essential but difficult, so give it a chance. Get yourself flowers. Make yourself banana bread. Go to that restaurant that you’ve been dying to get back to. Try skipping the party and staying in for the night.
As a commuter, I am rarely home. But every now and again, I get the house to myself for a bit. There is something so freeing about being the only person in the house. There is no one around to hear me try to reach the low notes of country singers that are way out of my range. There is no one around to see me fumbling to learn new line dance at the same time. It’s just me! I am a firm believer that feeling free when alone can follow us after we leave the house. Learning to be alone is a skill that needs to be developed, and a huge part of that is realizing that there is a difference between being alone and being lonely.
“HOW lucky am i…”
As a way to rewrite my narrative, I have started approaching inconveniences or issues in my life by starting with the phrase “how lucky am I?” And honestly, I kind of want to get this little phrase tattooed.
“I am so exhausted, I was up late texting,” versus “how lucky am I to have people worth staying up late for?”
“I am so stressed from schoolwork,” versus “how lucky am I to be able to afford an education?”
“My legs are so sore from running,” versus “how lucky am I to be able to exercise and move my body?”
Choosing to focus on the privileges and blessings that I have has truly helped me keep my head on my shoulders. It has helped me navigate big decisions in my life so far, while determining my values. It has even helped me figure out what and who I want in my life.
moving forward…
Living life to the fullest isn’t going on an adventure every weekend — rather, it is finding the aspects of beauty in your daily endeavors. After trying out a slower lifestyle, I don’t mind doing things by myself. I don’t mind sitting alone in the dining hall. I especially don’t mind ignoring society when it tells me I am not doing enough in this current, beautiful, peaceful moment. Life feels fuller now that I have slowed down and prioritized what brings me peace. Nowadays, I don’t even mind driving the speed limit.
It’s your turn to slow down and enjoy the ride while you’re experiencing it.