The fear of missing out is real! Since entering college, I can safely say I have had my fair share of FOMO-inducing experiences. Nothing is worse than seeing your friends out having a good time while you are at home. Missing out can incite feelings of insecurity and raise difficult questions. Are my friends going to forget about me? Are they going to stop inviting me if I can’t go out one time? All of these feelings are completely valid, and I’ve personally experienced them many times.
It’s important to know how to deal with these emotions and not let them take control. As someone with social anxiety and a more introverted personality, long periods of social interaction are often very mentally taxing for me. Needing to take a day to socially recharge can be important for my mental health, but since being in college, I’ve felt that every experience missed is something that will never be replicated and that I will lose friends over not being able to keep up socially. These feelings can be very draining and have often led to depressive episodes. While I find myself needing periodic breaks, I also find that I end up getting upset with myself for not being able to keep pace with my friends.
Realistically, I know it is difficult to stop overthinking these kinds of situations. However, I have developed some helpful tips and tricks that have worked for me.
1. Stay off of your phone
College culture heavily emphasizes using social media as a necessary interaction between yourself and your peers. When I’m home alone and see pictures of my friends out, I can get sad. But why make yourself upset? I’m more content with my decision to stay home when I don’t look at the inevitable social media posts that come from the night. Staying off of my phone in general also allows me to have the necessary time to recharge my social battery and I often feel more energized the day after.
2. make time for your friends when you feel up to it
There are times throughout my week when I do feel like I want to socialize with others. It’s important to take advantage of these moments and make plans with your friends when you want to. Never feel pressured to spend more or less time with someone than you want to just because you are scared of what they will think of you.
3. don’t compare yourself to others
Missing out can be hard, especially when you see your friends doing activities together. I know I am guilty of making comparisons between myself and my more extroverted friends, but this only makes me feel like I am not good enough. I have learned throughout my time in college that there are so many people with so many different personalities, which means some of them are bound to be experiencing the same emotions I am. You are not alone!
4. know your feelings are valid
When I have these thoughts, I start to believe that I am acting this way due to a need for people to like me or selfishly not wanting people to have fun without me there. Both of these are completely normal and valid initial thoughts to experience. Understanding these thoughts are valid is the first step in realizing you do not need to be constantly pleasing people for them to like you. Take a step back and take a deep breath.
The fear of missing out on the fun while you recharge your social battery is completely normal. Everyone experiences feelings of insecurity and periods of questioning how much they are liked by others. Addressing these feelings while not focusing on the negative thoughts associated with them is an important step in coming to the realization that being introverted and needing alone time is not a bad thing. I know I have struggled in the past and still continue to struggle with social anxiety and my need for mental breaks affecting the interactions I have with my friends. However, I’ve learned everyone is different, and finding healthy ways to deal with these feelings of missing out are exponentially more beneficial than dwelling on feelings of negativity.