Life is full of lessons, whether you’re aware of them or not. They can be little details or part of a larger picture. I feel that every day I learn something new about myself, life, or the world around me. Therefore, I have decided to share 21 things I have learned in my 21 years of life.
1. Act like the person you want to become
Sometimes this sounds just like manifestation, but it honestly just reworks your mindset. If I want to be an organized person, I will start creating a schedule for my day-to-day. It doesn’t have to be major changes. But even the smallest disciplines can help you achieve your goals.
2. Doing your best looks Different every day
Not every day looks the same, and that is okay! One day, you might be going to the gym, getting lunch with friends, and attending club meetings. Next, you may be held up in your room in sweats. Doing your best doesn’t have to look great. It just has to be what is right for you in that moment.
3. Change feels hard because your mindset is wired for safety, not growth
I am sure almost everyone has learned about the growth mindset by now. But it is hard to achieve. That is why it is such a process to feel change happen. We aren’t wired for it; we are used to safety. Or, at least, that is what we want to feel.
4. If you hate running, DON’T run!
Until you find a way of moving your body that you like, you will never stick to it. This is why I choose to go to dance classes. It is simply a different way of exercising; just because it’s not what everyone does doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.
5. If someone doesn’t appreciate you for who you are, it’s not your job to convince them
Sometimes you have to accept “I am not loved here, I am not appreciated here, I’m not seen or valued.” Then walk away. Don’t stay and try and convince someone who has already made up their mind or doesn’t appreciate who you truly are. Don’t try to force a connection that isn’t there. You are valuable and worthy of someone’s time, so find those people.
6. While you’re waiting to be noticed, someone else is asking for what you want
We live in such a competitive society. While you may be waiting to be noticed by a company, a person, or whatever else, someone else is asking for exactly that. You have to learn to be proactive when it comes to what you want. Things won’t just fall into your lap.
7. Stop dimming your light for others
So many people don’t do what they want because they’re scared of judgment or how others may react. Do what makes YOU happy. Dress how you want, go to that club meeting, and eat that snack you’ve been eyeing!
8. The right doors won’t open for you until you’re ready
Until you are the version of yourself that is supposed to walk through those doors, they won’t open for you. If it doesn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be in that moment. There’s no harm in trying again when you are ready.
9. Someone’s Life is better because you’re in it
It can be hard to forget sometimes just how much we impact each other’s lives. You may have introduced someone to their favorite song. Your smile could make their day brighter. Just by being a part of someone’s life, you have made it better.
10. It’s always those doing less that want to stop you from doing more
An influencer with a million followers wouldn’t judge you for posting. An athlete wouldn’t judge you for being a beginner at the gym. A billionaire wouldn’t judge you for starting a business. Someone with good grades wouldn’t judge you for studying.
11. You’re not the only one experiencing rejection
Everyone experiences rejection. The only reason we don’t see that is because people are quiet about their failures. You are not alone in this.
12. No Amount of regret can change the past
Be present in life. There is no sense in dwelling on the past or what you could’ve done. The only thing that is left to do is rewrite your future.
13. Don’t let people consume you
They didn’t call? Go to bed. They didn’t message you? Put your phone down and have a better day. Focus on yourself and not others. Learn how to be alone until someone makes life better by being there.
14. You don’t need to water down your feelings
You do not need to stop being who you are just to become more digestible for someone who will never care to understand. Especially when it comes to your personality. Stop toning down your personality just to be more “likable”. The right people will love and respect you for who you are.
15. Not every action requires a reaction
Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is nothing. Be aware, but don’t let things bother you. It can be better to just move on past things than to retaliate. Not everything is worth your energy.
16. If someone shows you who they are, believe them
Especially if it is early on in a friendship or relationship. If someone has shown you who they truly are, believe that. It is not likely that change will happen, unless that is something you both want to work on.
17. Be someone you can trust
Did you say you’re going to the gym? Go. Did you say you’re going to clean your room? Do it. How are you supposed to trust others or expect them to trust you if you can’t follow through for yourself?
18. Embarrassment is a mindset
Almost nothing is embarrassing unless you think it is. If you did something you might find embarrassing, do it with confidence. I personally always go back to a quote from an Austin Butler interview: “Embarrassment is an underexplored emotion. Go out and make a fool of yourself.” Just go for it. Embarrassment is just the fear of others’ opinions.
19. Comparison kills creativity
We have all heard that comparison is the thief of joy. However, it is also the killer of creativity. If you are constantly thinking about what everyone else is doing, you won’t be able to think up your own thoughts.
20. Life’s too short to care what people think
The only opinion that matters is your own. The world will keep spinning no matter what people think about you. The sun will shine just as bright, and the grass will be just as green. So why would you let someone else’s opinions shape how you feel about yourself?
21. There is so much to experience
The world is such a big and diverse place. There is still so much left to experience. I feel sometimes as if I am behind in life. Then, I remind myself that I am only 21 (about to be 22) and I still have so much life left to live. Don’t let those fears hold you back and live life to the fullest.
As my 22nd birthday approaches in just under three months, it only felt fitting to think about all these lessons. There is so much more to life, and so much joy to be spread. Focus on yourself and your happiness, and let the chips fall where they may!