All around the world, little girls are asking the hard-hitting questions adults hate to hear.
Why doesn’t Dad have to help in the kitchen? Why do I have to change, but my brother doesn’t? Why can’t I? Why do I? Why?
It’s questions like these that lead to a phenomenon I like to call the “B-Word Conundrum.” Where adults desperately want to call little girls b*tches, but — due to rules of politeness — can’t. Because of this, they call them the next best thing: lawyers! Calling a little girl a future lawyer is the closest you can get to calling her a bitch without destroying her self-esteem right off the bat – but she’ll catch on. She’ll realize you only tell her that she’d make a “great lawyer” someday when she’s annoying or frustrating you, when she’s questioning why her life and expectations are different from her brother’s or why the boys in her class can treat her the way they do. The B-Word Conundrum never seems to go away, even in adulthood. Frustrated women get asked if it’s “that time of the month” or accused of simply being bitter and single. Even the most liberal of men gets the itch to call a woman a bitch — he’s simply too scared to.
Except, of course, the three young men I ran into in Boston. As my grandparents and I curiously watched and listened to Boston’s International Women’s Day March, a group of boys walked past us giggling.
“I just wish these bitches would shut up.”
The “bitches” in question were Bostonians protesting American involvement in Iran, ICE’s presence in Boston and raising awareness about the poor treatment of women and girls. Many were donning transgender pride flags and encouraging inclusivity within feminism, but, of course, they’re bitches. Even while living near major cities like Dallas and Austin, I’m quite used to being shut down for “being a bitch.” I’ve even described women as bitches myself. That doesn’t make the word sting any less, especially when it isn’t actually being used.
I have some semblance of respect for the men I ran into in Boston. Not because they called a group of people, men and women, celebrating women’s rights & goals b*tches, but because they at least used the word. A more cowardly group would call them annoying or say it’s all unnecessary. Maybe even pull out the old “But what about men’s history month!” Not these men, no. They didn’t fall victim to the B-Word Conundrum; they would never tell a little girl she should be a lawyer. They’d just call her a bitch.
Something is refreshing about men showing you exactly who they are the first time around. Men who refuse to tiptoe around social niceties and expectations, men who gladly call me a bitch. It gives me less work to do; I don’t have to explain to those around me that no, calling me feisty isn’t a compliment, and that I do not appreciate being told to go to law school. I’d rather you just call me a bitch and get it over with. We all know you want to.