Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
blue college hat room
blue college hat room
Anna Thetard / Her Campus
TX State | Life

I Am Not The Same Girl I Was Freshman Year

Courtney Buck Student Contributor, Texas State University
This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at TX State chapter and does not reflect the views of Her Campus.

It’s crazy to think about the fact that I am halfway through my college years. I feel like I’ve written a couple of articles for Her Campus where I have talked about my growth, what I’ve gone through, and what I’ve learned from my experiences in college; and let me say, they are not lying when they say college is the most formative years of your life. To think, I came to Texas State University at the ripe age of eighteen, and I thought I had it all figured out. Spoiler alert: I didn’t! I still don’t fully know; however, I do think I have a stronger sense of self than I did 3 years ago.

Freshman Year Was A Fever Dream

I came to TXST not knowing many people from high school and having really no idea what I was doing or what was going to happen with my life. Side note: being eighteen years old, never living independently, and just thrown into a new lifestyle of abruptly figuring things out and taking care of yourself is lowkey a crazy idea, but I digress. I made friends quickly, but over time, one lesson I learned is that not all friendships are meant to last forever; they’re meant to be in our lives for a reason, which tends to be a common one: the first friends you meet in college aren’t the ones that stay. 

Connecting my freshman year experience back to the idea of my lack of self of sense back then, when I look at Snapchat memories of the outfits I would wear, the decisions I would make, the food I would eat, the relationship and friendship drama, let me just say that there are a lot of things that I don’t resonate with now, that I did back then. However, my naivety and lack of critical thinking definitely made my time fun, so that’s good. Also, living in the dorms was interesting. I did enjoy it, but it is a specific experience that you can’t really describe to a person who has never lived in a dorm room or shared space with other people your age. 

Another side note: Why did I eat at Taco Bell so often, like, very often…. I can’t even eat Taco Bell anymore. I think I have traumatized myself with the beefy 5-layer burrito. 

Sophomore Year Was Fine

So, I would say my sophomore year was, well, fine. Not super memorable. I moved out of the dorms and into an off-campus apartment. Let me tell you, I felt like a big girl. I started cooking for myself more, left whenever I wanted, and caught a bus to campus instead of walking. I moved into the apartment with my freshman year group of friends. Not our best idea, however, I would do it again, too, just for the lessons I learned. 

I also had some relationship problems where I had to seriously rethink a lot of what I had known about myself, LOL. But that trickled out to the summer, and until now, I guess it’s when I started healing and choosing myself, and maybe just becoming self-aware, so that’s a good lesson I learned that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. 

In terms of my clothes, I definitely started experimenting with what I was wearing, and at the time, I loved it, but in retrospect, I am glad I was experimenting; it didn’t stick, to say the least. And for my decisions, they might have improved since freshman year, but not by a whole lot until I hit the self-realization towards the end of that year, when I decided to stop doing things that I didn’t want to do. This is when I lost my FOMO for things and said no more. But some decisions I made then are things that I still wouldn’t do now. 

Junior Year (Me Now)

Junior year, how I love you. Over the summer, going into junior year, I did a lot of healing and self-reflection about the behaviors I had exhibited, and I moved into a new apartment with random roommates, gaining more freedom. I don’t know what happened to make me start thinking before making decisions and to be more present in them. Dare I say, my frontal lobe has begun to develop? I actively work on my mental health and have a well-established routine for myself now. I cook for myself now (healthily), I go to the gym, I do my homework, go to class, and prioritize time for my friends and loved ones (especially myself)

And, I love the clothes that I wear now. I am basic. I tried too hard not to be basic, but I’ve learned that it is just who I am. I like jeans and cute tops, and for class I wear athleisure, which I used to be against but now couldn’t care less about. I don’t even know why that used to be important to me. I digress. 

Senior Year and So on

I know I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I do feel like I’m on track to understanding myself and my decisions more and more every day.  

A few lessons I have learned and tell myself often:

  1. Don’t stay at a job that you don’t enjoy. This goes for organizations on campus that I have formerly been a part of and part-time jobs that I have held. 
  2. Think critically about your decisions more before acting on them. 
  3. Embarrassment isn’t real, and people don’t care; just be you.
  4. FOMO also isn’t real (except for when I missed St. Patrick’s Day in San Marcos this year.)
  5. Standing up for yourself is super important, even when it’s scary. 
  6. Nothing is wrong with choosing and prioritizing yourself first.

A lot of these thoughts may not seem complex; however, freshman-year me would’ve never fathomed them. What was I even thinking about for real?

I know as I get older and go through even more life, that I will continue to learn more about myself and the world, and I will change day by day, so I can’t wait to see what life has to throw at me, because I can’t wait to learn from it, even if it sucks. I wouldn’t change anything about the life path I have been on because I know what I have been through has shaped who I am today. And I’m proud of her.

Courtney Buck

TX State '27

Courtney Buck is the section editor at the Her Campus at Texas State chapter. She oversees the section’s direction, assigns ideas to writers, and ensures every piece offers responsible, supportive guidance to readers. She writes biweekly articles for Her Campus, collaborating closely with her team to develop ideas, conducting thorough research, and self‑editing her work to ensure clarity and quality. She enjoys writing original content, specifically personal essays and relatable pieces that reflect real student experiences to her own.

Outside of Her Campus, Courtney is a Mass Communication major at Texas State University with a minor in Psychology. She previously reported for KTSW 89.9 as a News and Culture Reporter and has completed a short internship with Swoon Memorial in Houston the past summer.

She enjoys doing her nails and journaling about her feelings as it makes her feel more grounded in her everyday life. She loves staying busy and productive so if her schedule is free, you can find her at the gym. She has big dreams and aspirations for her life, so although she doesn’t know exactly where she’s headed yet, she will be somewhere in the future!