Friendship breakups can hurt just as much, sometimes even more, than romantic ones. Losing someone who was once a big part of your life can leave you feeling lost, hurt, and maybe even a little angry. If you’re struggling with letting go, know that you’re not alone. I’ve been there too, and while it’s never easy, there are ways to heal and move forward. Here are some dos and don’ts that helped me — and hopefully, they’ll help you too.
The Dos of Moving On
1. Let Yourself Feel Everything
It’s OK to be sad. It’s OK to be angry. It’s even OK to feel relieved. Whatever emotions come up, don’t push them down — let yourself process them. Cry if you need to, vent to a trusted friend, or journal your thoughts. The more you allow yourself to feel, the easier it becomes to move forward.
2. Reflect On The Friendship (Without Overanalyzing)
Take a step back and think about the friendship as a whole. What did it bring to your life? What did you learn from it? Not every friendship is meant to last forever, but every single one teaches us something. Instead of fixating on the breakup, focus on the growth.
3. Create Healthy Boundaries
If seeing your former friend on social media stings, don’t be afraid to mute or unfollow them. If mutual friends bring them up often, let them know you need some space. Protecting your peace is important and setting boundaries is a crucial part of the healing process.
4. Prioritize Self-Care
When you’re going through a tough time, taking care of yourself is essential. Do things that bring you joy — whether it’s going for a walk, listening to your favorite music, picking up a new hobby, or spending time with people who lift you up. Small acts of self-care can make a big difference.
5. Be Open To New Connections
Losing a friend doesn’t mean you’ll never find deep connections again. In fact, sometimes, friendships ending open doors for new, healthier relationships. Keep an open heart — you never know who you might meet.
The Don’ts Of Letting Go
1. Don’t Get Stuck in the Past
Replaying old memories over and over won’t change what happened. It’s okay to cherish the good times, but don’t let them hold you back. Your life is moving forward — don’t let your mind stay stuck in yesterday.
2. Don’t Blame Yourself for Everything
It’s easy to wonder if you could’ve done something differently, but the truth is friendships end for many reasons. Sometimes people just grow apart. Give yourself grace and understand that you’re not solely responsible for everything.
3. Don’t Rush Your Healing
Healing isn’t a straight line. Some days will feel easier and others might bring a wave of emotions. That’s normal. Be patient with yourself and trust that with time, things will get better.
4. Don’t Hold Onto Resentment
Holding onto anger or wishing for revenge only weighs you down. Letting go doesn’t mean what happened was OK — it just means you’re choosing peace over bitterness.
5. Don’t Isolate Yourself
It’s tempting to shut people out when you’re hurting, but surrounding yourself with support makes all the difference. Lean on the people who love you, whether it’s family, other friends, or even a therapist if you need it.
Moving Forward
I won’t lie, friendship breakups are tough. But they also provide a chance to rediscover yourself and build even stronger, healthier connections. Every friendship, whether it lasts forever or only for a season, plays a role in shaping who you are. Embrace the lessons, cherish the good memories, and trust that better friendships are ahead. You’ve got this.