Healing your inner girlhood isn’t about romanticizing the past; it’s about listening to the version of yourself who learned, early on, to quiet her joy. Over the last few months, I’ve been intentionally healing my inner girlhood by paying attention to what she needed all along: permission to feel deeply, to love things loudly, and to show up exactly as she is.
For me, healing my inner girlhood meant reconnecting with things I once loved but had slowly pushed aside: fandoms, fashion experimentation, and emotional enthusiasm. These weren’t random interests. They were core parts of how I made sense of the world when I was younger, before I learned that being “too much” was something to avoid. Letting myself revisit them has been grounding, affirming, and unexpectedly emotional.
In a culture that often rewards restraint over authenticity, healing your inner girlhood can feel almost rebellious. It asks you to stop performing consistency and start honoring how you actually feel, day to day, moment to moment. This journey hasn’t been about becoming a new person. It’s been about returning to myself, one small act of permission at a time.
Understanding what my inner girl needed
The biggest realization I had during this process was that my inner girl didn’t need fixing; she needed safety. She needed to know that her emotions weren’t embarrassing and her interests weren’t cringe. For a long time, I mistook emotional distance for growth. In reality, I was just avoiding parts of myself that felt too vulnerable.
My healing started when I began asking a simple question: What did I stop allowing myself to enjoy, and why? The answers were uncomfortable, but honest.
Reawakening my inner fangirl
When Heated Rivalry came out, I didn’t expect it to unlock anything major. But as I watched, something familiar resurfaced, the fangirl I used to be. The one who cared deeply about characters, storylines, and emotional tension. Somewhere along the way, I’d convinced myself that loving anything that intensely was immature.
Letting myself fully engage with Heated Rivalry, whether that was rewatching scenes, thinking about the characters, or talking about it out loud. It felt like reclaiming a language I once spoke fluently. Loving something openly wasn’t a regression. It was a reminder that passion is not something you age out of.
I felt it again when Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles started releasing new music. For a moment, I was transported back to being a One Direction stan, memorizing lyrics, refreshing timelines, and letting songs feel like entire emotional events. Back then, that fandom gave me a place to pour my feelings, to belong to something bigger than myself, to care without irony.Â
Growing up, I taught myself to outgrow that version of me, to see it as a phase rather than a language I once used to understand myself. Letting myself feel excited about their new work now didn’t make me feel regressive; it felt full-circle. It reminded me that devotion, nostalgia, and joy aren’t childish; they’re connective. And honoring that fangirl again felt like telling my inner girl that nothing she loved was ever silly or disposable.
Letting myself dress based on the day, not the label
Another major part of healing my inner girlhood was giving myself freedom in how I dress. Some days I want skirts, more color, and overt femininity. Other days I want baggy jeans, and sneakers… For years, I felt pressure to “pick one” and stick with it.
Now, I let my style reflect my mood instead of my brand. Dressing this way has become a quiet but powerful way of honoring my inner girl, the one who didn’t understand why self-expression had to be consistent to be valid.
Why this kind of healing actually sticks
Healing my inner girlhood hasn’t been loud or dramatic. It’s been subtle, daily, and deeply personal. It’s choosing joy without justification. It’s letting myself care. It’s trusting that I don’t need to edit myself to be taken seriously.
And honestly? That kind of healing lasts.