Veering from our regular topic of “my boyfriend is too much,” this week we are focusing on “my bestie is too much.” Here’s what our writers’ team has to say to those who are seeking advice regarding friendship problems.
“How do you deal with a friend who’s suddenly acting distant but won’t tell you what’s wrong?”
Talk to them! That is the only way to gain their perspective and work from there. In any relationship, including a friendship, a lack of communication can cause issues. If they’re willing, talking it out can open both of your eyes to issues you would otherwise be unaware of. At first, it can seem almost impossible to talk to the people we care about when our feelings are hurt but it needs to be done. Would you ignore a weed in your garden? No, then it would just keep growing and spreading. So, pull the weeds before they crowd your garden.
-Grace Neves, HC Contributor
“My best friend of 2 years dropped me because I was seeking validation and reassurance. Maybe I went about it wrong but she just totally dropped me. Why did she do this?”
Friendships are strange. There are people we meet in our lives to teach us a lesson. This could be a time to reflect on who you should allow in your life. You deserve someone who supports and uplifts you. At the same time, if you seek validation and reassurance constantly, make some time to feel secure in yourself. Whether it’s about your self-esteem, your relationships, or goals, practicing self-love and positivity is not just important for you but for others as well. At the end of the day, some people have stronger boundaries, and both parties deserve to feel respected.
-Cassandra Patlan, HC Contributor
“Is it crazy that I think my best friend is in love with me? What should I do?”
I definitely do NOT think you’re crazy because there has to be something that’s making you think this. But before you make the wrong assumption, ask yourself a couple of questions.
- Is the way they’re treating you friendly, or is it slightly uncomfortable?
- Do they act like this with others or just you?
If they are making you uncomfortable and only act this way around you, it’s definitely something to bring up. If you want to be more straightforward, simply tell them that you’re not sure whether what they’re doing is intentional, but you’d like to set a boundary for what’s acceptable in your relationship… But if you want to be more lowkey about it, start asking about each other’s love lives or about a different person you may be interested in, and see how they react. Either way, you definitely deserve a respectful dynamic, and friendships are all about communication, so don’t be afraid to prioritize how you’re feeling. I wish you the best of luck!
-Elise Ramos, HC Editor
“My best friend is starting to become really clingy and I think she copies my aesthetic, what do I do?”
If it’s making you uncomfortable, then maybe a conversation should be had as awkward as it sounds. Set some boundaries about their clingy behavior and help them embrace their own aesthetic or help them find one. It can be frustrating, but she probably has good intentions. Communicate your feelings but also consider hers instead of letting this end your friendship.
-Taylor Carrasco, HC Contributor
“My friend told one of my secrets and she wasn’t supposed to, should I cut it off or what should I do?”
This is definitely far from ideal, but I wouldn’t suggest jumping straight to cutting it off. Sharing secrets is such a big betrayal of trust, but it will help to talk to them first. Ask why they did it and what the situation was. Make sure you tell them how it made you feel and that your trust was broken. You can usually get a good feel just from a conversation and their reaction to what their intentions are and the kind of person and friend they are. Based on that, it’s up to you what decision you make. If you feel like they wanted to cause you harm/pain or they’ll do it again, cut them off, it’ll be hard and will hurt, but it’s the best for your mental health, and you deserve better.
-Amanda Fuentes, HC Contributor