Springtime is quickly approaching here in good Ol’ NOLA, and after a very interesting, different and “unprecedented” #YARDIGras, the warm weather has everyone in good spirits. In addition to muscle shirts, tube tops, copious amounts of alcohol consumed in the out of doors, and heavy duty deodorant being back in full swing, so is everyone’s sex drive. If you weren’t cuddled up for those colder months, you’re craving something — anything. (A relationship? FWB? Or maybe even a short moment where your hands brush those of your lecture crush as you borrow a pencil?) And if you were cuddled up for the winter months, I wish you nothing short of a Jack and Rose dramatic ending to your “cuffing season”. It’s time for a good ol’ fashioned square dance this springtime, and I expect everyone to switch partners – Should be excitin’.
Taeghan, slow down. Aren’t you a hopeless romantic?!
Why, yes, reader. I am a hopeless romantic but even we hopeless romantics aren’t immune from being down bad. So, in light of this changing of the seasons, I have been throwing caution to the wind left and right because as we get closer and closer to some normalcy, I am ready to live like the young alpha female that I am, again. For too long have I — like so many other amazing, accomplished, driven, beautiful young women — privatized finding my “George Clooney”, when I should’ve been (in my new enlightened opinion) been trying to find my Ferris Bueller (think about that analogy, and then get back to me — it makes sense).
This epiphany came around just like every other epiphany rears its ugly head…In the shower.
Picture this: me standing in the shower (or don’t, I meant metaphorically), screaming along to some 2000’s throwbacks, absolutely feeling myself. Lizzo then pops up ( as I was in the top .5% of her listeners in 2020), and “Soulmate” serenades me into an R&B/Pop frenzy turned enlightenment.
Holy sh*t, I’m bored.
And I am not talking regular bored. I am talking life-altering, path-changing, I’m-ready-for-my-main-character-role, bored. I assessed a little further: My workout routine has been stellar and I’m feeling good about myself, I’m doing well in school (Columbia for grad school here we come…?), my friends are phenomenal (as per usual) and quarantine has made us even closer, and also shown me who I need and do not need in my life. So what was missing? The only blatantly obvious answer was romance.
** For context, I have been in a situationship with a man for a year-ish now who is in my home state, with no label. By virtue of this being a public work, you can all tell that I am very much over it, and unwilling to deal with the what if, anymore. No more will I prioritize a maybe, when I am worth an engagement ring (not right now, but later). **
As I stood there, toweling myself off and thinking about how romantically unsatisfied I am, I realized that I had been so blinded by the “status quo” of what my love life had been, I hadn’t been willing to put in the energy to change! Maybe it was quarantine, maybe it was my hype women, maybe it was my change in gym routine, maybe it was the new two ply toilet paper, or maybe its the age of Aquarius beginning to make cosmic influence on the world, but regardless I have dubbed myself a transforming woman. Not completely changed but very much on the way there.
Babe, this is great and all, but what have you actually done? #ActionsOverWords
Phenomenal question, lovely. My first course of action was to tape a valentine to a guys’ door that I thought was cute. Did it go according to plan? No, absolutely not. But you want to know what? I did it, and that was so out of my comfort zone, and I do not regret it for a minute (it also makes for a fun story, honestly). We’ll see how that one winds up…
I also started flirting with a guy who I have thought was cute for a little bit — We actually have a date really soon, and I am excited to feel it out. Will it go anywhere or will we just be friends? I guess I’ll find out!
I went on a little expedition with my girls, and one guy who was there I made eye-contact with for more than .2 seconds. I also did speak to him, so that’s huge. (More importantly, I shamelessly ogled his abs — he was ripped, and he definitely noticed. It didn’t make me feel weird though – is this the beginning of me objectifying men?!)
I was in a zoom class and I PMed a guy I thought was smart and cute — he *did* reply and there was banter. A little serotonin boost never hurt anyone, and maybe I’ll make that a class-time habit.
Finally, making my older sister proud, I finally decided to give dating apps the old college try. With the help of several friends, I downloaded two of the more popular apps and cultivated profiles in an attempt to match with people I would actually be willing to go on dates with. Will I delete it in a week? Maybe. But hey, at least I tried…
Long story short, I’ve really been acting like “hot” is a mentality and I’m kind of in love with it — and myself — more than ever. My hips sway a little wider, my head stays looking forward instead of down at the ground as I walk on campus, I say hi to people I know but are maybe not best friends with — this whole “bored” epiphany really kicked my ass into gear. I was only bored because I let myself be bored. While I do fault myself, I’d also like to note that we are in the middle of a *panoramic* so, that had probably inhibited my social/romantic ability a little in the beginning too. Also, please do not misconstrue this article as “the only way to entertain yourself is to be in a romantic situation”, because that is very much not the message. For years I have created my own joy and happiness and I have been single for most of it, save three months. No, what I am saying is that if you step back, and you feel like you’re killing the game except for one area of your life, address it! I think with quarantine the monotony and the day-to-day has been so established (because it is what is safe) that it has quickly become the norm — but it totally wasn’t a year ago. Don’t act like COVID-19 *panhellenic* is over, still be safe please, but take what time we have left in this interesting and thought provoking era to look in and assess — it is one of the few benefits of the pandemic. Get comfortable enough with yourself that you can address your issues, and tackle them head on — not like a linebacker, but like a chef adding spices pinch by pinch, until the flavor of your life is exquisite and you a satiated beneficiary of your own creation.
With the warm weather coming, moods changing, vaccines being given, and the sense of possibility in the air, I leave y’all to a happy and warm springtime. Find something that excites you again, and let that be what makes you make a change. If it’s a new partner, then I swing ‘em round and round. If you’d rather stand on the sidelines and tap along to the beat, be my guest. Don’t wait to get fed up with life (like I have), act preemptively and act selfishly when it comes to your feelings. Cheers everyone, and may you bring the change you want to see in yourself and your life.