New Year’s Resolutions. We love to hate them, we hate to love them, we make them (even without realizing it) EVERY year. Many claim that resolutions are “so last year” and a ridiculous way to trick yourself into doing the things you should have been doing all year. The reality is; however, that when you’re home on winter break and you’re 15 Christmas cookies deep wearing the same outfit for the third straight day, there’s bound to be some self-reflection. Most often, the pressure of the impending semester coupled with the total laziness of the past 3 weeks is enough to send any college student into a cocoa-fueled shame-spiral (think Britney Spears circa 2008). Whether they be proclaimed or subconscious, when the clock changes to 12 on January 1st, resolutions are made. Even if it’s just resolving to get a new pair of shoes, everyone is a little different on January 1st (and it’s not just the hangovers). Nobody understands this sense of change and excitement like college students, and even better than them, the characters from the Office. So, to bring you the 5 resolutions every college student makes, your very favorite Office characters.
1. I resolve to do better in my classes.
Or at least to go to all my classes… or to not cry in Calculus… more than once.
I read somewhere that carbs are good for you… and something irrelevant about “in moderation”.
3. Furthermore, I resolve to lose the 15 pounds I put on over fall semester.
Day 1: I will do cardio 5 days a week and only eat salad.
Day 2: Walking to class counts as cardio, right?
4. I resolve to talk to that cute guy.
Or just smile at him. On second thought, I’ll just be alone forever.
5. I resolve to never embarrass myself due to excessive alcohol consumption ever again.
Lol.