Why We Must Preserve Tweenhood

This past winter break, I taught a class of seven middle school girls how to swim. As the lesson neared its end, I asked the girls what they wanted for the holidays. 

Being in the 10 to 12 age range, I expected them to say items such as hair accessories, jewellery kits, and merchandise from their favourite franchises.

Instead, I heard the unanimous clamour of seven young girls asking for Sephora makeup, Drunk Elephant skincare, and hyaluronic acid. It honestly broke my heart. 

Insecurity is blossoming at even earlier ages, robbing girls of the most formative years of their development. Childhood is now a commodity due to brands preying on impressionable young girls, and beauty standards are the leading cause.

Instead of giving these young girls a safe space to be themselves, social media convinces them that they must look “mature” to feel beautiful, which, in turn, is leading them to buy many products they don’t need and that aren’t appropriate for their age group.  

I vividly remember what it was like to be 12 and constantly comparing myself to my classmates. I had bad acne, frizzy hair, braces, and crippling social anxiety. I was bullied by boys for all of elementary school, and I still carry many of the words they said to me to this day. 

The difference is that I had a healthy form of escapism. I had stereotypically nerdy interests and a group of friends with whom I shared that. I loved to read and would fly through books I picked up at my local library. Harry Potter, One Direction, and Marvel movies were very strong recurring themes in my tween life. I even wore shirts with sarcastic quotes, with no shame. The young girls of today are scared to be themselves, and because of this, they will never find true self-love. 

Social media is invasive and unavoidable today. Young children are now expected to have some form of electronic device at arm’s length at all times, as many fear being excluded by their peers. 

Last year, cell phones were banned in Ontario during class time for students in Grades 7 to 12 and all day for Grades 1 to 6, as instilled by the provincial government. This shows just how dependent youth are on social media, as the rule had to be extended to accommodate children as young as six years old. 

Not only is all this unnecessary dopamine unhealthy for young minds, but it exposes them to a plethora of content not intended for them. For young girls, this comes in the form of a beauty influencer. 

There is nothing inherently wrong with sharing insider tips on makeup on a large platform, but it becomes problematic when there are no regulations for younger viewers. A lack of discretion will convince young girls that the products being promoted on social media are integral to their self-worth. The glowing, smiling, seemingly perfect face of this young adult on TikTok is now associated with the product, and young girls naturally want to emulate that. 

But there will come a time for these girls to be adults. First, they need to be tweens. 

Embracing the awkward and often hard period of growing up is what naturally develops our confidence. If young girls don’t have tweenhood, the next generation of women will be an empty reflection of the patriarchal beauty standards that envelop so many of us already. 

We have to create a safe space that once again allows young girls to make mistakes, learn important life lessons, and embrace their inner passions. They should feel free to scream along to their favourite boy bands, dress up as characters from their favourite movies, and pursue their favourite hobbies — all without the heightened self-awareness of how they look in the moment. 

We owe it to the women of tomorrow to dismantle harmful beauty standards, and we start by reminding the girls of today not to grow up too fast. 

One day, they will look back on their preteen years and appreciate the fun-loving young girl they used to be, who was truly beautiful inside and out. 

• childhood
• girlhood
• mental health
• teenhood
• women's mental health