I was 16 years old when I first went on the birth control pill. I remember walking into the clinic––one of my first times at a doctor’s appointment alone––looking my male doctor directly in the eye and telling him my period is never on time, my flow is heavy and my skin is bad — things many teenage girls say but often don’t mean, to get handed the tiny pink pills fast and efficiently. But, for me, I actually did have minor issues with my skin, and my period, although it has never really been bad, was often irregular. When my doctor asked if I would ever be open to trying an oral form of birth control, I was almost excited. Telling your friends in high school that you got put on the pill was proving to everyone that you were this grown–up, sexually-liberated woman. I immediately said yes, not thinking of any side effects or consequences down the road — and just like that, my doctor prescribed my birth control.
For the first couple of years taking birth control, everything was great. My acne was gone (despite a few pimples here and there), my cycle was regular and my flow just kept getting lighter and lighter. Unlike some of my friends who were also on oral birth control, I never found taking the pill at the same time everyday to be that much of a hassle and just fell into my nightly routine. If anything, I felt way better on the pill than off it and was an advocate for taking it. This mindset lasted for the majority of my birth control journey but quickly changed halfway through the pandemic.
At the beginning of COVID-19 when the world was put on pause as places were shut down, families were stuck in their houses and there was nothing left to do except baking banana bread at times. I changed my lifestyle. Because my days went from being filled with socialization, going from class to class to having too much spare time on my hands, I quickly picked up hobbies such as walking, cooking healthy recipes and working out. With this came weight loss and with weight loss came a change in my hormones. My acne came back, my cycles were irregular again and the flow was inconsistent. Some months I would go from having basically no period at all to a wave of massive cramps, aches, bloat and heaviness. This was not normal.
After months of trying to decipher what the cause was, I decided to call my doctor to have him see if he could switch my birth control. I thought changing up the brand would possibly save me like it did the first time, but I was wrong. With one failed attempt in the books and the ongoing feeling of discouragement, I turned to my mother and asked for help. She brought up going off the pill and seeing how my body adjusts. At first, I thought this could never be an option for me. But after becoming helpless with inconsistent periods and problematic skin that was damaging my confidence, I thought to myself: What do I have to lose?
My Journey off the Pill
In Jan. 2021, I decided that my relationship with the birth control pill was over. However, I wasn’t aware of what was to happen to my body after being on the pill for almost 5 years. A month after coming off it, I experienced the worst depression of my life. I don’t blame this entirely on the pill, as other circumstances, such as isolation from the pandemic, online school and the cold, grey winter months played their part. But I did notice that my mood swings and my mental health were different and I felt like I didn’t have control over my emotions.
Additionally, to no surprise, my hormonal acne came back. I was experiencing the worst breakouts around my chin, even worse than the acne that brought me to the pill in my teenage years. My breasts, which were originally a DDD (and my biggest insecurity), shrunk down to a DD. Although the depression and acne were problems I really struggled with coming off the pill, the most frustrating part was my period. Once again, it was irregular — except now, I was stuck with heavy flows and terrible cramps, something I never experienced; the longer I was on the pill, the lighter my period was.
All of these new components in my life — dealing with hormones and different chemicals in my brain — all presented themselves within three months of being off the pill and attacked me slowly. Now, it’s officially been over a year since making the jump and stopping oral birth control, and let me tell you, it gets better. My skin, while still having pimples, is cleared; my mood and mental health is in a much better state than it was; and my cycle is sometimes inconsistent, but it’s nice to think that I’m just letting it take its course and come when it needs to. I feel in control again.
At the end of the day, I am not against the birth control pill. It’s amazing that Canadians generally have such easy access to it and also the option to take it to help regulate their period, aid in cramps, clear their skin and protect them from unwanted pregnancy. For me, the pill was great for the first couple years, and maybe down the road, I could see myself going back on it for a bit. But I wasn’t happy with the way it was working and my hormones were changing. All I’m trying to say is, it’s okay to change and adapt if you feel like something is not right with your body, even if it worked before for a long time. Listen to yourself and decide what is best for you, not what anyone else thinks.