With school easing back into session, it’s important to have a conversation about the perils of being an ambitious woman in university. While often romanticized, the reality of higher education is far more challenging, bringing along imposter syndrome and burnout to women pursuing their passions and academic validation. Pairing this against the backdrop of a booming city, such as Toronto, makes it all the more complicated. Pushing people to chase success at the expense of their physical and mental well-being.Â
This grim reality of burnout affects women and female-identifying individuals at higher rates than their male counterparts due to a myriad of reasons. One reason being their willingness to report burnout and seek help. Ultimately, this begs the question of what causes this and how women can stay ambitious without the threat of falling behind.Â
First and foremost, it’s important to define what healthy and sustainable ambition looks like. According to Bond University, a healthy level of ambition involves rejecting instant gratification and prioritizing consistency over immediate results. Toxic ambition is rooted in a desire to change and catch up to a version of yourself that has not yet been fully realized. Falling down this rabbit hole will leave you exhausted at the end of the workday, leading to increased anxiety and irritability, which can leave you feeling burnt out.Â
In university, this can look like taking on a full course load, working part-time, joining a plethora of extracurriculars and leading student groups. While these are taken in good faith, not keeping track of your commitments and the desire to take on as much as possible will eventually weigh on you. In our campus setting, we’re constantly surrounded by opportunities that we might’ve only dreamed of, which can lead you to bite off more than you can chew. Additionally, pairing this with the fear that comes along with fitting into that successful woman mould is even more daunting.
Apps like Instagram and LinkedIn, which visibly track your accomplishments for others to see, are part of this issue. Personally, I joined LinkedIn in my senior year of high school, but I was met with so many other people who were my age who had done so much. Without realizing it, I had set myself up to play a game of cat and mouse with no clear winner. All that I was focused on was racking up my experience and portfolio, telling myself that it would all be worth it in the future, but I had no actual benchmark for what the future would be. Weeks turned into months, which turned into years of chasing an idea of success that I had no clear definition for, which eventually led to me hitting a wall hard in my sophomore year of university.
I had so many commitments and people to answer to, but I had no real solution once they’d reached out. I was completely blindsided when the burnout came, and I didn’t know what was the final straw that broke the camel’s back. Looking back on it, I’ve come to realize that my desire to catch up and maintain appearances was the primary factor driving my ambition. I wanted success, but the parameters for that were based on ideas I’d subconsciously internalized through various pieces of media. Fortunately, accepting that propelled me into a more sustainable frame of mind— one that allowed me to understand what success looks like for me and tailor my work and ambitions toward that end goal.
If this sounds familiar, I’d like to offer some tips on taking charge of toxic ambition to live a healthy and inviting life:Â
Firstly, give yourself grace; university is hard enough as it is, and beating yourself up about not meeting deadlines will add unnecessary stress. Break down the work you need to finish into smaller tasks and ensure that you’re using a calendar to track your progress.Â
You also need to celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Before you post that LinkedIn update, take the time to digest the work you’ve done and take it in. At the end of the day, you’re working towards keeping yourself happy, and as long as you champion that, you’ll be alright.Â
The most crucial step in beating the toxic ambition burnout is giving a concrete definition to what success looks like for you. Where will you be in 5 years? What’s going to get you there? Take the time to sit down and answer these questions. This could look like creating a vision board for all the visual learners out there and looking back on it every month. Note down if anything has changed, and if you want to head in a different direction.Â
Ultimately, you need to ensure that everything you’re doing is for yourself and not for external validation. As long as you’re content, you’ll make it.