The idea of being alone can make anyone uncomfortable. It can feel like it’s always better to be surrounded by people you love or part of a community to feel a sense of belonging, but also to experience some fun in your life.
But who’s to say you can’t have fun if you’re doing something on your own? Why should we limit ourselves to only having fun when there are other people around? Why is it that when we’re alone, we often resort to doing nothing and simply rotting in bed with our thoughts?
I remember when I was a first-year student, I didn’t do much for myself. As a commuter student, my days looked like this: Wake up early → commute to school → be in class for three to six hours → commute to my work → go back home. It was the same cycle I had every day. I didn’t bother to make proper friendships at Toronto Metropolitan University or even spend any time with myself.
So one day, I decided that on my day off, I’d spend some time in the city doing the things I would normally be doing with friends. That way, I could at least get comfortable with my own solitude, and not feel so ashamed for not having my close friends within my reach.
The whole purpose of me taking myself on a solo date was to just be comfortable with myself.
I truly recommend taking yourself out to do things because, in a way, you’re befriending yourself. You’re reconnecting with parts of yourself that you didn’t realize you had lost touch with.
You also get the chance to discover your own identity. Other people may have a good idea as to who you are, but being alone and doing things you enjoy can really help you understand yourself in a different way.
Go to a cafe and try out things you have never tried before, whether it’s a different drink, a new pastry — or even both. Watch a movie in the theatre by yourself. Take a stroll down Kensington Market. There are so many things to do in the city that aren’t just meant for groups of people.
The most recent solo-date activity I did was go on a matcha tour, where I took myself to places that sold matcha in the city and rated each of them in my Notes app. It might not have been the best idea considering how much matcha I consumed, but I had fun! Doing activities like that can be just as fun with or without other people.
Doing things alone helped me become comfortable with my solitude. If I face rejection, or a friend cancels plans, that’s okay! I have no problem doing it by myself now, whereas before, I’d just wait for someone to be free so I could do the said activity with them.
Being okay with being alone and doing fun things by yourself is growth. It means you’re okay with not having to rely on others for your amusement.
It’s amazing to have big friend groups and do lots of fun activities — but if things fall through, or if you don’t have those super close friendships around you, it’s okay to do those fun things alone too.
Sometimes, you just have to take yourself on that solo date.