A couple years ago I came across a ted talk on Youtube titled “30 is not the new 20” from a psychologist named Meg Jay. She discusses that turning twenty is not extended adolescence and that it’s a defining decade that you need to take more seriously. This sparked a feeling of anxiety as my 20th birthday slowly approaches in a couple days and I will no longer be a teenager.
Birthdays have always just felt like a good excuse to eat cake, have people shower you with attention and congratulate you for just basically marking another year of life as if it’s worth celebrating.I love birthdays for that reason, however turning twenty hits different. Realizing that I don’t have the unlimited time and potential as I did as a child and even as a teenager is a scary thought that I can’t seem to shake off.
Looking back at the letters I had written to my future self at the age of ten and fifteen, I had fully expected to have moved out of my parents house into my own apartment, have a real job and understanding of what career I was passionate about, be in a solid romantic relationship. I feel like I’ve sort of disappointed my younger self, I’m still living with my parents, I don’t have a solid idea of what career path to take and still as directionless and painfully single.
It’s been a hard pill to swallow, as someone who loves to achieve milestones at each age, my twenties might look a bit different from what my younger self aspired to be achieving.
To anyone else feeling as though they are not ready for adulthood, and feeling anxious about the age of twenty: I think it’s important to realize that being an adult is just doing your best, NOBODY even the people you admire the most don’t have everything in their life put together. It’s been a hard pill for me to swallow as someone who has been hyper focused on timelines, but it’s a mindset that I’m trying to get used to. The defining decade that Meg emphasizes on will look different for everyone and that’s something to be content with