To say my experiences with weight gain and weight loss has been a rollercoaster is an understatement. I’ve never paid more attention to my body than during the period of time when I lost weight. But even now, after the dust has settled, I still don’t feel — and can say I’ve never felt — body-positive.
Let me explain.
I’ve never had a reason to pay so much attention to my body. I was never athletic. I’ve never had a consistent gym or workout routine. I’ve never been passionate about my physique or size. Truth be told, a passionate love for my body, which is the definition of body positivity — was and is one of the last things on my priority list.
I’ve never been that person who will confidently take a bikini pic or wear something to specifically accentuate certain aspects of my body. Nothing is wrong with either of those actions, but to me, they require a certain amount of attention to my body that I don’t care to give.
Earlier this week, I was sitting in my Mindfulness and Self Compassion class lecture when my professor mentioned the term “body neutrality.” She explained how it differs from body positivity in that it focuses more on acceptance of one’s body rather than a love for it. When I heard this term, I felt a wave of relief knowing that there is a middle ground between being body-positive and body-negative.
Body positivity is now a trendy buzz word used by celebrities and influencers. While it’s great to embrace bodies of all shapes and sizes and advocate for more accurate representation in mainstream media, calling too much attention to bodies sends the message that size and appearance is something that should be focused on.
Body positivity can be a great tool for someone who is passionate about their physique or physical appearance, but this is not a sustainable way to build confidence, self-love, or self-esteem. Oftentimes, body positivity is used to mask one’s true feelings about themselves, which does more harm than good.
Our bodies are changing all the time whether it’s from aging, a change in workout routine, getting your period, becoming a parent, or breaking a bone. So why place your love for your body on its appearance when that can change from one day to the next?
Adopting body neutrality is a more sustainable and realistic way to view your body and its function in your everyday life because let’s be honest — who the hell feels positive all the time? Even if a part of you wishes you had a bigger butt or toned legs, you can still be body neutral and acknowledge that none of those things make you a beautiful person because you accept that you are beautiful as you already are.
Being body-neutral is a mindful way to accept your body without calling attention to it. This gratitude-centered approach is a great way to live in the moment and appreciate the little things your body does every day to keep you going.
After that class lecture I reflected on some of the reasons I respect my body and the ways it has allowed me to feel happiness and love for reasons other than its physical appearance.
I appreciate my body for its ability to dance to the music I love.
I am thankful for its ability to hug and kiss a loved one.
And most of all, I am grateful for its ability to carry my soul — my essence that truly makes me, me.