Today is Friday. I am writing this article bundled up in blankets at my desk, with a huge cup of hot chocolate at my side. After I finish this article, I will probably go on a walk with my dog before bingeing a new series on HBO. I will cuddle with my dog as the day gets darker, eat snacks, read, and go to sleep.
Tomorrow, I will probably wake up, do some school work, and do the same thing over again.
And while my Snapchat feed is filled with people partying at ACL, I have no sense of FOMO.
I love these kinds of days. Slow days filled with reading and napping and eating snacks, alone, with my dog. My favorite things to do on the weekends are going to Target while listening to a good playlist and book shopping at BookPeople for hours on end. Preferably alone, so I can spend as much time in the aisles as I want.
But even as someone who is deeply introverted, I still understand the importance of socializing and human connection. Especially in college, the connections you build with people can possibly last a lifetime.
I feel like people often confuse introverts with loners. While loners actively seek out being alone, introverts enjoy solitude, and also enjoy the presence of those closest to them.
Whether it is with a friend, partner, or even professor– it’s important to make yourself available to foster these relationships.
Your brain thrives off of human interaction. Without socialization, your brain becomes idle, your mood begins to worsen, and your mental health depletes. When your mental health depletes, it becomes harder to focus on school, let alone a social life. And so the cycle continues…
The ways I maintain my social life are small but so important not only to me but to those relationships I cherish.
And no, you don’t have to go to frat parties every Saturday to say you have a social life.
I’m not saying that I have never gone through that phase. I definitely have. Partying Friday-Sunday, and grinding during the week. But after a while, it grew stale. And while some of my friends love that vibe, it just didn’t make me happy. At all. I never once came home from a party happy that I went out.
So I stopped going to parties. I started hanging out with friends and family in different ways that make me happy.
I go to trivia every week with friends on campus. I call my mom every day for over an hour and talk about my day. I FaceTime my long-distance bestie as often as I can, even if it is for a few minutes, just to talk about whatever is swirling in my brain. I love going to the movies and playing with my friends whenever we find the time. I study at the public library and coffee shops. I take my dog to the dog park and on walks down South Congress. I reach out to friends I haven’t heard from in a while, just to ask how they are doing. I go to org meetings on campus and each week challenge myself to sit next to new people.
To some, this list might be lame. And that’s okay. But the definition of a ‘social life’ is so fluid. It is dependent on each individual. For me, a frat party isn’t fun. ACL isn’t fun. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have other ways of growing my social life.
I love my social life. Even if it is minute to some, it’s perfect to me. What matters is that I am content, yet still finding new ways to explore and push my boundaries.
So that’s what I leave you with– even in the face of contentment, you should continue to push your boundaries. There are always new experiences and new people to explore.
Even so, there’s no harm in spending a Friday night alone with a cup of hot chocolate. :)