During this freshman year of college, and especially in the fall semester, I was often discouraged by how fast everyone else seemed to be making friends. I mean sure, I had met some pretty amazing people and had formed some great friendships, but they weren’t as solid as everyone else’s seemed to be. I felt almost like I was falling behind in the “friendship race” and I wouldn’t ever be able to catch up. And while I believed this at first, I came to realize that I had the wrong mentality all along- and no one told or warned me otherwise.
When people tell you about college, they usually talk about what a great experience it was and how they met all of their very best friends there. Therefore, it’s no wonder why I went into college expecting to make these “very best friends” on the very first day. So when it (inevitably) didn’t happen, I immediately felt like I had done something wrong. To me, it seemed like everyone else was doing it right. So I was left with the dilemma: what was I doing wrong?
It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that my friend (yes, new friend) Daniela said something that changed the way I thought about college and friendships. We were talking about the misconceptions of loneliness in college and she said, “the problem is that everyone goes from comparing the brand new relationships they form in college to the ones they made after years in high school.”
She was so right. For so long I had been comparing the friendships I had made in just these couple months of college to the ones I had made throughout all four years of high school. It just wasn’t a fair comparison. And while I love my college friendships, I have to remind myself that they are new and that that’s okay. Though it may seem natural to compare the two, it would be a mistake to do so: it’s a difference between friendships formed over four months and friendships formed over four years.
So, to all of the other freshman, or to any girls who are coming to college soon, don’t make the mistake I did. The friendships you will make here will no doubt be amazing, but they will take time to form. And that’s nothing to be ashamed of.