Feminism has always been about one thing: choice—the ability for women to live and govern their own lives freely. However, our modern world has entangled feminism with misinterpretation and turned it into a race to the top of the social ladder rather than a fight for equality. Feminism was once a movement designed to build community rather than enforce conformity. Yet somewhere along the way, we seem to have forgotten that. It’s become increasingly clear that any woman who dares to question or criticize another woman’s lifestyle faces the risk of being labeled as “not a girl’s girl,” or even worse, anti-feminist.
The way I see it, how people view feminism has changed—it doesn’t seem like freedom of choice anymore. It feels more like a checklist: a set of rules to follow about what kind of woman you’re “supposed” to be.
I feel like Nara Smith is the most publicly sought-after example of controversy surrounding feminism. Nara is a social media influencer known for her lifestyle as a stay-at-home mom and wife: “tradwife.” While many people find her “old-fashioned” values refreshing and empowering, others, women especially, have expressed their concerns that her public showing of such a lifestyle is setting women back decades and glorifying patriarchal society. The controversy surrounding Nara Smith has raised many questions about the true purpose of feminism and what it means to be a feminist. I believe that if feminism is really about choice, there’s no reason for her lifestyle to be controversial. The life she has chosen to lead, chosen to document, and chosen to love is, and should be, nothing more than a source of inspiration—or if nothing else, just another Instagram account you choose not to follow.
The problem isn’t people like Nara—it’s how quick we are to judge women whose choices and lives look different from our own. Somewhere along the path to equality, we started confusing empowerment with uniformity.
Supporting women shouldn’t mean agreeing with everything they do. It should mean upholding their right to decide what kind of life they want. Feminism is simple: let women live how they choose, and respect them for it.