Every few months I find myself re-downloading various dating apps. I feel bored, lonely, and am just seeking out distraction and entertainment. I can safely assume that the majority of people on dating apps resort to them because they feel a similar way. We all crave social interaction and generally dating apps do make it easier to find someone to spend romantic time with.
We swipe or like because we are initially attracted to the version of this person portrayed through pictures. Once you match you know that the attraction is at least reciprocated. And if someone initiates the conversation, there’s a sense of excitement as your mind starts to think of scenarios of how this completely online interaction will play out.
On the surface dating apps do not seem harmful, you are able to meet people you would have never met otherwise, plus it does not take that much effort and, once again, you are mutually attracted to one another. However, we know that sexual attraction is not the only thing that is important in romantic relationships. Unfortunately, dating apps put a lot of emphasis on the physical aspect which leads to our generation believing that the “physical” is one of the most important parts of forming a romantic relationship.
Negative Implications:
We are fully relying on swiping through dating apps to build our future romantic relationships. This is damaging as a lot of us (including myself) become addicted and dependent on these apps. There is no doubt that as soon as you download the app you feel the rush of an ego boost as you match with people “out of your league.” However, your matches just begin to sit there as sometimes (let’s be honest most of the time) neither person initiates the conversation.
Another aspect to remember is that every person on the said app is talking to multiple people at the same time. Therefore exclusivity takes a very long time to establish. In other scenarios, some people on dating apps are very desperate and are really seeking someone to date. Do not be surprised if a guy that you go out with once tells you that he thinks you are nothing other than perfect and proceeds to send an extremely long paragraph about how much he likes you after you politely friend-zone him. The idea of a “slow burn love” is rare to find through dating apps. Let’s face it, romance is not like it used to be.
Dating apps are truly a constant battle between your perception of the person and the person themself. Piecing together the person you talk to through a screen and the individual you meet in person is odd, especially if they do not look like you expected them to, which can lead to little or no attraction at all.
Within these apps, we face lots of rejection, ghosting, and failed talking stages. This without a doubt puts you off from dating completely, whether that be for a few weeks or a few years. Dating apps consistently lead to dating fatigue and the false idea that you will never find anyone after many failed interactions.
Due to dating apps, we have faced commitment and intimacy issues as well as the inability to make choices. We are now susceptible to numerous superficial interactions, many of which are with catfishes or some serious weirdos. Our generation is quicker to give up on something that might have worked which leads to a greater increase in impatience towards romance as a whole.
Through apps, individuals are able to maintain some degree of anonymity which can only lead to more disrespect. Mental health and self-esteem issues become more apparent within our generation due to the dating app culture. Dating apps are changing dating culture as a whole, and perhaps not for the better.
With all this being said, despite feeling lonely, I have decided that I need to embrace my singlehood rather than succumbing to superficial, momentarily ego-boosting interactions through a screen. I would rather wait for someone worth my time and effort which in turn will reshape my own perception of dating culture.