At UT, we know how to take football seriously. With the Super Bowl coming up, and having no real knowledge of football besides knowing that touchdowns are six points and there are four downs before a turnover, I decided to predict who will win based on the knowledge I do have: which team is more attractive.
Using the expertise of my friends’ opinions and the aid of Google images, we have picked out the three most attractive players on each team, as well as assigned them a score:
Seattle Seahawks
Boy Next Door award
Russell Wilson, 25, quarterback.
Russell scores 8 points for his team with his boyish good looks.
Potential Grey’s Anatomy Doctor award
Doug Baldwin, 25, wide receiver
Baldwin bears an uncanny resemblance to hot doctor Jackson Avery from the hit ABC show, thus scoring the Seahawks 8.5 points.
Country Singer Award
Luke Willson, 24, tight end
We weren’t sure if he actually sings country, but this Seahawk’s name would fit perfectly on an album cover of him, his acoustic guitar and his pick up truck. Willson picks up 7 points.
Denver Broncos
Prettiest Eyes Award
Wes Walker, 31, wide receiver
The group consensus was that we could stare for hours into Walker’s baby blues, and that he should keep the manly scruff he sometimes sports. He garners 8 points.
Most Likely to Model for Armani Award
Eric Decker, 26, wide receiver
Decker was hands-down the favorite, with his all-American look and chiseled jaw. He wins with 10 points.
Kindest Eyes Award
Quentin Jammer, 34, defensive back
Just looking at the official Broncos picture of Jammer makes a girl feel all warm and fuzzy. We agreed that he seems most likely to offer a girl a foot rub, thus racking up 7.5 points for Denver.
Though both teams seem pretty evenly matched, the Broncos win 25.5 to 23.5.
Sorry, Seahawks, better luck at Super Bowl XLIX.