Well girls, it’s about that time again. Prepare yourselves for the constant PDA, boxes of chocolates, and giant teddy bears. Valentine’s Day love is in the air. The only holiday dedicated to showing just how much you care about your loved one. Or the only holiday that gives you a chance to escape.
SAY WHAT?!
I know that probably caught most of you off guard. No, this isn’t an article about what you should get your boyfriend for V-Day or what you and your single gal pals should do on this most loving day. Instead it’s about re-evaluating the relationship you are currently in before exchanging gifts and romantic stares over a candlelit dinner with someone you don’t want to be with. It may sound harsh, but I know that plenty of men do this kind of rethinking before they end up buying expensive perfume and jewelry for a girl they end up dumping a week later. Why must they get all the power to break our hearts before this holiday while we have to unexpectedly get dumped?
Girls often stay in relationships they don’t want to be in just for the sake of the guy. Journalism junior Sara Arami said that she’s stayed in a past relationship because they “were dating so long and thought maybe it’s just a phase.” Instead, those moments we think are just phases are actually serious moments of doubt about a relationship that should be evaluated. Here are a few things to consider when deciding whether or not to stay with your guy or set him (and yourself) free.
“Wait, I thought your favorite color was red?”
Guys sometimes aren’t the best listeners. Depending on how long you have been dating, let’s say 3 months or so, he should know the basics about you. What your favorite color is, favorite food, or what your dog’s name is are just a few things that should feel like common sense to him. “He should know the little things about you,” Arami states, adding that girls often know the little things about guys like “if he didn’t like Chinese food.”
If you’ve been dating longer for about 6 months, he should know you a little deeper than just colors and food. Chemical engineering junior Marissa Pels said that “he should know what’s important to her, what she cares about, and whatever her values are.” He might still be confused as to why you are passionate about certain things, but if he knows that they mean something to you, then he’s a keeper. If he couldn’t care less about what you love, then you might want to reconsider your relationship.
To Keep or Not to Keep?
There are definite red flags as to whether or not your boyfriend is a “keeper.” If he reminds you of any of the characters on Jersey Shore, then that is definitely a red flag. But other examples of red flags might be constant partying, disrespecting you, and failing out of his classes. He might also be giving off the vibe that he doesn’t even like you anymore. Advertising junior Hailey Harbor said that a guy “should be responsible, have an interest in you, and wants to be the man….oh, and he has to be good-looking.” Now, I’m not saying to throw the towel in just because he doesn’t have crazy abs and likes to have a little fun. I’m just suggesting that you consider whether or not you could love someone who talks down to you or someone who treats you like dirt. If he is missing a few of the things you are looking for, it’s okay, because the positive qualities he does have overshadow the little things. However, when the negative attributes overpower the positive like a sumo wrestler would Paris Hilton, then you’ve got to weigh your options.
Meet the Parents
The next one is a little tricky. It’s up to you if you really want to use this while evaluating, because it varies for different situations. But if you haven’t met the parents, this might be an issue. “It depends on how and if you guys are comfortable about it,” says math senior Ruby McQuade. Don’t stress if you aren’t exactly exclusive and haven’t met his parents; that’s just how flings work. “It really all depends what kind of relationship it is. I wouldn’t want to meet his parents if it wasn’t serious,” adds McQuade, who met her boyfriend two months into their relationship. On the other hand, if you haven’t met the mom and dad and you’ve been dating for a year, there definitely is something fishy going on. In college, it’s rather difficult to meet the parents since most of us are away from them. So don’t evaluate this subject if you are still in the early stages of a romance.
I have to spend money on him?!
We are broke college kids, I get it. There isn’t a lot of money in our pockets to be buying chocolates for our sweeties. But regardless of the fact that you can’t afford to buy a gift, you should at least want to. “I think Valentine’s Day is more for the girls,” states elementary education major Abby Miksch. Even though this holiday is a great day for a guy to spoil his girl, it doesn’t mean that girls shouldn’t want to give him a gift. Miksch, like every girl I asked, couldn’t come up with an exact number but knew that they wanted to get their guy a gift. If you are sitting there dreading having to pick something out for him or even just spend a few bucks on him, you might want to question how you even really feel.
Loved and Lost
After discovering you don’t even want to spend money on the guy, you should question if you really like the guy. Sometimes girls realize their feelings are gone but don’t exactly know what to do. Arami says that it’s happened to her before, but she stayed in the relationship because she didn’t want to hurt him. Valentine’s Day is a special day between two people who care about each other. If that feeling isn’t there, what use is it to celebrate it?
Now I didn’t write this article out of a hate for Valentine’s Day. I happen to love the holiday, and even if I am single during it, I think that it is a great day to celebrate your loving and happy relationship. Girls sometimes get lost in a relationship and stay in because they don’t know what else to do. So take the time to stop and think as to whether or not you should actually stay with your guy. But please use these tips to your advantage before the actual day, because dumping someone on the exact day can be painful for both parties.