Living with an illness/disability is challenging. However, living with an invisible autoimmune condition is even worse. I was diagnosed with Graves’ disease when I was 15, just barely starting my sophomore year of high school. I had started feeling symptoms of illness during middle school, but they progressively got worse as the years went on. I was scared of getting a diagnosis because I feared I’d have to quit sports, something that I loved. When I finally got a diagnosis, my worst fear came true. I had to quit sports, but I felt relieved because I would soon improve medically. That was not the case. Once I got my diagnosis, I was put on multiple medications. I was missing classes every week to attend multiple doctor’s appointments. There was no cure for my condition; there was only a way to relieve the symptoms and hope for the best.
However, as time went on, I lost hope. I was a teenager dealing with normal teenage problems. On top of all those problems, I also dealt with my condition. I saw my friends playing sports, going out, and being typical teenagers. My relationships started to fade. I felt alone and misunderstood. How could I explain that I can’t go out because my body is tired from doing absolutely nothing? How could I explain that even after 10 hours of sleep, I’m still tired? I felt embarrassed when I had to ask my friends to sit down after walking around the mall for an hour. My friends didn’t understand my pain and fatigue, and I didn’t know how to help them understand. I look perfectly fine on the outside—until you read my medical chart, which is the size of a dictionary.
Getting people to believe I suffer from an autoimmune condition without pulling up my medical chart, multiple bottles of medicine, or hospitalization records is almost impossible. Being a teenager and now a college student is already stressful. Being a teenager, a college student, and having an autoimmune condition is 10 times more stressful. I have to make sure to take extra care of myself. Sometimes I fail to put my health, both physical and mental, over my studies. Sometimes I forget that I’m just a teenager and a freshman in college. I deserve to have fun, even if I am sick. I’ve let my condition bully me for too long. I won’t continue to allow my condition to take over anymore, even if it’s a huge fight. My condition will no longer define who I am.