In the era of concepts like “I’m just a girl” and “girl math,” it’s ironically become easier to both love and question what it means to be a woman. Forgot how to do your taxes? It’s okay—I’m just a girl. Spent half your paycheck at TJMaxx? Totally justified—girl math. These phrases float around social media as lighthearted jokes, a shared language of humor that bonds women and girls online. But sometimes I wonder: are we laughing with each other, or laughing things off that we should actually take pride in learning?
I know I’m only in college, but knowing how to do my taxes feels like something I shouldn’t brush aside with a joke. And while shopping can be fun, I also know that mindless spending isn’t exactly empowering. The humor behind these trends is relatable, but it also sits in this strange space where girlhood is both celebrated and made into a punchline.
My relationship with girlhood has always been a little complicated. Even as a kid, I both loved and resisted things that were considered “girly.” I remember wanting the cutest Justice lunchbox before the school year started, the sparkly ones with our initials on them. But at the same time, I convinced myself that even liking the color pink was too girly. When people asked for my favorite color, I would say blue or purple, and blue always came out first. It felt safer because, even as an 8-year-old, I was scared of being judged for leaning too far into the stereotype. But, if I weren’t so aware of limiting my “girliness,” I would’ve always said, “I love pink.”
As I got older, some of the things that once made being a girl fun started to feel more like responsibilities. Makeup, hair, and clothes used to be something I played dress-up with, pretending I was getting ready for some glamorous event with pearlescent blue eyelids, tangled hair, and a Disney princess dress. Eventually, it became another task on my morning checklist, constrained by internet trends. Clean girl makeup, a slick-back vs. a blow-out, and anything but skinny jeans. The standards kept changing, expectations stayed high, and by the time I was 16, I was so over it. It stopped feeling like play and started feeling like work. Yet another thing to master alongside getting an education.
But every once in a while, the fun comes back. When I finally have a chance to get out of the routine, whether that’s for a special occasion or doing my makeup at 3 a.m. for absolutely no reason, it’s not a chore anymore. Maybe that’s what reclaiming girlhood really looks like. Even in a world that sometimes turns femininity into a meme, or something we feel pressured to suppress to be taken seriously, we still get to define it for ourselves. For me, that means embracing the things I once rejected, so my favorite color is pink!