Let’s talk about sex.
Yes, for real. Not the awkward type where you sit down and talk with your mom and feel nothing but awkwardness — I mean a real convo.
And if we are going to talk about sex, we have to talk about something just as important: consent.
So what is consent?
Consent is a voluntary, informed, and ENTHUSIASTIC agreement to engage in activity, which can be withdrawn any time.
If someone says “yes”, but looks nervous, unsure, confused, hesitant, or pressured, that is not real consent. Consent should be clear, comfortable, and mutual.
It’s important you focus on voluntariness, not compliance. Both of ya’ll should feel safe, respected, and genuinely into what is happening!
Let’s be clear what ISN’T consent:
- “Maybe”
- “I’m uncomfortable”
- “No”
- ” I’m not in the mood”
- “I’m not sure about this”
- “Umm…”
- *Silence*
- “I don’t know”
Also remember, consent is more than just words. If someone is persuading, manipulating, or pressuring you (even subconsciously) that is also crossing the line.
Now the talk of sex does not have to be all doom and gloom, there are exciting answers that will create an exciting and fun experience for both partners!
Here is what consent CAN sound like:
- “I’m sure”
- “Absolutely”
- “I want this”
- “I’m really into this”
- “I’m excited to be with you”
- “Yes!”
And remember the 3 C’s of consent – Clear, Conscious, and Continuous.
Keep those words in your brain and you’re already doing better than most people.
At the end of the day, Consent is not a one-time convo, it’s a necessary topic and it applies to every situation at any time. No exceptions. Every healthy relationship needs it and we all need reminders of what that looks like!
Have fun, take care of yourself, and stay safe! :)