Last December, during winter break, I did absolutely nothing. My winter break was me staying at my mom’s house in bed all day sulking, watching The Real Housewives, eating extremely crappy food that would leave me bloated for days, and– mindless scrolling on TikTok. It was maddening.
To paint a clearer picture, my FYP was characterized by “Here are five things you need from Amazon,” “How to lose lower belly fat,” “Why you need XYZ skincare product,” and “How to be ‘that girl’” (YUCK– I could go into detail about my PURE hatred for “that girl” and micro-trends, but we will be here for literal hours). Long story short, I started to hate everything about myself. I felt like my life was not romantic enough, and influencers made me hyper-aware of insecurities I did not know I previously had. I also realized I had lost my sense of style. I used to pride myself on buying or finding unique thrifts, but I found myself actively looking out for “trends” at thrift stores, and saying that out loud is disturbing in itself.
*A Brief Rant*: I don’t know about you, but I don’t have the monetary means to buy five things I “need” on Amazon; I don’t like to have slick back hair and “clean makeup” because I will look like a greasy little brown egg and I absolutely cannot eat like a gym rat, because groceries are so expensive right now. Who in the hell can afford to eat eggs every day, and healthy organic ones at that? Makes my brain itch.
It felt like a constant punch in the face. I started to believe that I needed to change everything about myself, from my routine and habits to the person I saw in the reflection of my mirror. My self-esteem was at an all-time low, and it made me start to hate on the people who were posting the content. A very– “thanks a lot, Rachel, thanks a lot!” – you either get the reference or you don’t; I digress.
Anyway, I realized I needed to actively do something about it instead of becoming a full-blown spiteful little 5’2 *AND A HALF–hater (I am short, so the hate is extra BIG). So I thought, why don’t I delete it? And easier said than done, right? Yeah, it took me about two to three weeks into January to delete it.
First, it started out by me putting time limits on social apps because I thought that could be an easy way to get out of it. And it worked– for like five days. So then I realized, well, we are going to need to go full-blown cut-off cold turkey mode– and I did.
It honestly was fine in the first three weeks, but then I noticed I started slipping out of trends, current memes, and fashion, I guess? (define fashion– like honestly). But reminding myself how I used to feel outweighed the FOMO. I immediately felt better. The noise in my head was less loud. I could think! AHA! To be a so-called free thinker! Crazy concept, right?
I felt great until summer rolled around, and then some days, I thought to myself, I miss the random funny TikToks I used to get on my FYP, too. But honestly, at the cost of seeing the commodified TikTok girlies mush my tiny brain– no thanks! I figured I should just go read a book instead or maybe pick up how to play guitar. Who knows, I could do whatever I wanted!
Fast forward to today, I continually feel so much better without TikTok. I still never know what the hell my friends are talking about when they bring up a current event on TikTok, but I enjoy hearing about what is going on on that side of the internet. Ignorance is truly bliss.
If you have been considering deleting TikTok– do it! I promise you won’t regret it, and if you get withdrawals, just remember, you can always go out and distract yourself and evolve as a human, just like we once did as a species! (I am being so unironically funny right now because I just drank a cold brew; please laugh). I don’t know, go unlock some new skills as a human, go on a nature walk and listen to music, do a puzzle– the possibilities are quite literally endless!