Vogue recently published an article, “Is Having a Boyfriend Embarrassing Now?”
This piece has sparked numerous debates, opinions, and even jokes online. Personally, I don’t think having a boyfriend is embarrassing at all—in fact, I wouldn’t mind having one. What is truly embarrassing, though, is trying to find a boyfriend among guys who are only willing to give the bare minimum, even below it.
It’s entertaining to see all the memes online, but I’ve noticed an interesting topic emerging in conversations among women. Many women are losing interest in dating because they’re frustrated with the casual nature of relationships that men often seek, which women do not desire. I’m not entirely surprised by this; I’ve heard many women express similar feelings before. However, it appears that this sentiment is becoming increasingly widespread online.
I am in this bucket. I have been single for quite a while now, and it’s not because I’m unable to find a boyfriend. I can’t seem to find THE boyfriend. I’ve grown up watching many romcoms, with 13 Going on 30 being my favorite. I’ve always wanted something like that, only to enter a world where men want to hang out casually but want nothing more. I blame romcoms for setting the bar high because if we can write and produce the most romantic film, it has to be real, right? (probably not)
I can’t speak for everyone, but I’ve had many conversations with friends who have stopped feeling upset about being single and now view it in a positive light. Many of us are no longer seeking out romantic relationships. We aren’t giving guys the time of day if they just want to “hang out.” If we settle for less, it only encourages them to put in less effort because we don’t expect much from them. Personally, I would be fine staying single for my entire life if no guy meets my standards. My criteria aren’t demanding, but it seems that nowadays, many people refuse to embrace romance. As it’s deemed “embarrassing” or “too much,” but there is nothing “too much” about spreading your love for others.
I’m really glad these conversations are taking place because I’m exhausted by the situationship and hook-up culture that’s prevalent today. I refuse to get caught up in it. While it might seem fun at first, I believe it ultimately leads nowhere. And don’t even get me started on dating apps. I refuse to download one because, based on my friends’ experiences, they don’t seem to work out (horror stories).
While we have these conversations online, can we really notice a difference in real life? Will romance start to make a comeback? This shift is just beginning, but will we eventually see change, especially as women want more? Still, it’s really up to the men to step up because I don’t mind staying single my whole life. I would happily be the cat lady in the neighborhood because all I need is a good support group of friends, and I’ll be set.
A boyfriend would be a bonus, but he’s not the prize unless he’s the right one.